the complicated emotion called love
Something that is so pure and perfect making it seem like it should be so simple, yet is so very complicated....
LOVE, common sense tells us to cherish those we love, but we don't get to chose who they are.
I have been in love several times, I guess you could say I wear my heart on my sleeve.
My first love was an addict who ignored me more and more as his addiction became worse and worse. I'm the one who ended it.
My second love was also an addict and this time I decided I needed a break to get some prespective, during the break he impregnated another woman (or so he thought, DNA showed he was not the father)
I never really loved the kids' dad, but I got pregnant with my first while on the pill and so I stuck it out for 7 years. We never married. Then he went to jail, which ended our relationship.
My third love was also and addict that I poured so much time energy and love into to try and "fix" that I just completely exhausted myself. I ended that one as well.
My fourth love was not emotionally available. He had been badly hurt in the past by his ex fiance and had other trust issues due to PTSD from 2 tours in Iraq. I suspected he was cheating on me but had no proof what so ever, just gut instinct. That was a mutual breakup. I found out later he was in fact cheating.
I dated a few guys here and there in between the ones I loved. Not to be big headed, but nearly ALL of my boyfriends fell in love with me, even the not so serious relationships. I still have ex "boyfriends" that I only dated for a few months emailing or texting me saying how they wish things had worked out between us and they wish they could have a second chance.
My fifth love asked me to marry him. He was the most "perfect for me" guy I had ever met. We were engaged for a while and just left without warning or reason. And I'm totally devistated.
It's been 4 months and I have guys trying to whoo me left and right, (I can think of at least 10 off the top of my head), but all I want is my fiance back. Why I can't be attracted to any of the really great and totally awsome guys that want me so badly? What is wrong with me??? And why do they feel so in love with me when I don't see the chemistry? I just dont get the attraction.
LOVE, common sense tells us to cherish those we love, but we don't get to chose who they are.
I have been in love several times, I guess you could say I wear my heart on my sleeve.
My first love was an addict who ignored me more and more as his addiction became worse and worse. I'm the one who ended it.
My second love was also an addict and this time I decided I needed a break to get some prespective, during the break he impregnated another woman (or so he thought, DNA showed he was not the father)
I never really loved the kids' dad, but I got pregnant with my first while on the pill and so I stuck it out for 7 years. We never married. Then he went to jail, which ended our relationship.
My third love was also and addict that I poured so much time energy and love into to try and "fix" that I just completely exhausted myself. I ended that one as well.
My fourth love was not emotionally available. He had been badly hurt in the past by his ex fiance and had other trust issues due to PTSD from 2 tours in Iraq. I suspected he was cheating on me but had no proof what so ever, just gut instinct. That was a mutual breakup. I found out later he was in fact cheating.
I dated a few guys here and there in between the ones I loved. Not to be big headed, but nearly ALL of my boyfriends fell in love with me, even the not so serious relationships. I still have ex "boyfriends" that I only dated for a few months emailing or texting me saying how they wish things had worked out between us and they wish they could have a second chance.
My fifth love asked me to marry him. He was the most "perfect for me" guy I had ever met. We were engaged for a while and just left without warning or reason. And I'm totally devistated.
It's been 4 months and I have guys trying to whoo me left and right, (I can think of at least 10 off the top of my head), but all I want is my fiance back. Why I can't be attracted to any of the really great and totally awsome guys that want me so badly? What is wrong with me??? And why do they feel so in love with me when I don't see the chemistry? I just dont get the attraction.
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