The change

So i woke up on Monday with a horrible feeling. I felt this feeling before...I was 16...300 pounds, never had a girlfriend yada yada ya know. And i said to myself, What the fuck am i doing to myself? I changed. I started working out, eating better...my confidence weant through the roof! I was feeling amazing, looked good...I was at about 210 Lbs any smaller i would look weird, im naturally big. I woke up with that same feeling Monday.... See, i asked an old friend of mine to a baseball game on Sunday, before i met my wife I was head over heal's for this girl..loopy! But as things happen, We lost contact after i got married. So i decided to start chatting her up after my divorce. Eventually asked her to a ball game and ended up having a fantastic day with her. Every feeling i had before...came back. full force. She's amazing...never met anyone like her in my life. Anyway..rambling there.. I woke up on monday and decided I need to start taking care of myself. I've let myself go, over the years my depression just sorta kicked my ass and i let it...turned to booze and drugs and self medicated.  I requested a leave of absence from work, i work for fantastic people so they let me have as long as i need. I started biking yesterday, completly changed my eating habits and started going to the Gym. I do feel better. Started on some medication aswell, seems to be helping thus far..no crazy side effects which is nice... Anyway, this girl has inspired me to take care of myself...I would love to be fit, active like i used to be....I was a ball player my whole life untill i get married! being scouted my last year and i threw it away. I want to get back to ME before marriage, somewere along the line i lost myself...time to find me =)