The big G

 
 It starts out small... then gets big and bigger (just under the radar- sometimes right under our nose) until we live in a world with so many Rs&Rs, that we wont be "allowed" to live.   "sliding glass doors" in our homes because someone just MIGHT get hurt.   
  So in the interest of protecting EVERYONE because they dont know how many people "MIGHT" get hurt by walking through a sliding glass door, they feel its their duty to protect the public.  *Sarcasm* ... an incident  involved a young man (aka..."12 beers and 4 shots guy") residing in (whatever town) got slobbering drunk and walked through a sliding glass door at a frat party. So due to this incident, they feel that sliding glass doors may pose a "serious safety risk" to the general public. 
   It is now MANDATORY that all glass doors must be removed due to the IMMEDIATE danger that glass doors MAY pose. Until this situation is resolved all buildings will be required to "PAD" all glass doors in your home. All padding must be purchased by a "state approved" supplier. You will need to "pad" the entire glass door - top to bottom- according to the directions that come along with the materials.
Because we are phasing out the traditional glass doors and transitioning to "Green" materials. We anticipate that there will be great concern regarding the costs involved. We are sympathetic and understand those concerns but WE feel  strongly that this will be the right thing for YOU and YOUR family - because we know better than you and YOU WILL eventually see that. If not...we really don't care all that much because we CAN decide, what is needed to protect you in everthing you do. We are certain that you dont know how to think or make good decisions ( like *OUR* decisions) for you and your family. ** Disclaimer** Government buildings are exempt from the new guidelines. We feel strongly that anyone smart enough to be hired for the  "government" would not be dumb enough to walk through a glass door... we dont imploy people that are alcoholics.