The best is yet to come

Ah, my first positive journal entry.  That in itself is amazing. The best is yet to come - this is my new motto because to be quite honest, the past wasn't all that great.  Yeah, I loved him with my whole heart and soul, and yeah I fought for the last 8 months to save my marriage, but now that the papers have been filed, I can look at my marriage with more clarity and less emotion. That final thread of hope has been severed and in it's place is closure.   I know it's not over yet, the worst part may still be in front of me, but I'm not sitting on the fence any longer.  It feels good to know the final outcome of this long rollercoaster ride.  It may not be what I've wanted, but it is what it is.   I'm not looking forward to the next coming months.  I'm expecting a battle from him.  He's so wrapped up in himself, that he's not thinking rationally and he's gonna think I'm out to screw him.  I'm truly not - I only want what's fair to me after giving him 23 years of my life, giving up my career to be at home with our kids, losing his 401K and our home equity to a business deal that I told him was a bad idea.  I just want to be able to live comfortably from this day forward. I'm ready to have it over with.  I don't want it to drag on for months and months.  I've put together another proposal based on my attorney's advice.  It's a fair one - 50/50 split.  But I know he's gonna think because he makes more money (lots more) that I do, he should get more money.  It doesn't work that way.  Too bad, so sad.  (sld1 :)) I'm going to sit with him one last time to try and work this out ourselves before turning it over completely to our attorney's.  The bottom line is, he wants this and if he want's it quickly, he better just sign on the dotted line.  My propsal will be NON-NEGOTIABLE and NON-MODIFIABLE.  I'll take it to the judge if I have to but if he forces my hand with this, than I'm going to bring the infidelity into the fold.  I'm not being unreasonable just because he may think I am.  His opinion doesn't matter to me anymore. Anyway, I feel good today.  Somehow his filing of the papers, in as much as it hurt me, has also brought me closure.  It's truly over and done and all that's left is the divorce itself.