The Beginning of my journey!

Well i'm getting closer and closer to the start of the next chapter in my book.  I have been interested in WLS surgury for awhile now. Kept trying to do it on my own...struggled my whole life. I finally realize that I need another tool to help me get to where I want to be. Of course i'm plaqued with the random thoughts of "what if"....
What if:
It doesn't help
 I screw up
 I die on the operating table
 there are complications after
I turn into a different person
I don't feel like myself
...... I could go on and on...but my main fear is death and leaving behind my beautiful baby girl! But then I have the positive side of the "What ifs"
What if:
I finally feel like who I am supposed to be
I'm healthier then ever
I can play and run with my daughter without feeling tired after 15 minutes
I can travel
I can go on rides at amusement parks
I can fit into any style chair without pain or embarassment
I can finally persue my career without discrimination
I can compete in a marathon
I can learn to surf....sky dive....bungee jump...go hiking...etc
I can LIVE!!!
 
Talk about excitment!!! I hope to schedule my surgury date when I see the surgeon again on February 9th...as well as discuss which surgical option is for me.
Can't wait to start....so far I have been trying to manage the sip, sip, sip,  LOL and the remembering to eat and get my protein.
Stay tuned for more updates!