The Beginning: Day 1

Today is the first day. I am TRULY ready to stop gambling. This isn't my first rodeo with this addiction. Been here before. Which is kinda sad. Seems like I would have learned. But far be it for me to learn and just move on FOREVER. Oh no, gotta try just that ONE MORE TIME! So historically I had, repeat HAD 10 years gamble free under my belt. I can't even remember what the trigger was that lead me back..oh yes I do...someone gave me a $1 lottery scratcher ticket for Christmas a few years ago. That was the seed. Somehow that was like a message that propelled me to "I'm special, I can gamble like a normal person now". Well, that has lead to here....I am ready for something NEW. I am tired of my self destruction. Time for a new day, new life, new goals....Day 1...this may get ugly some days. I am pretty childish when I can't get what I want. But the end result is awesome...I wish I could tell you what my fears are or how this is going to suck. I'm just feeling pretty positive about it right now. I appreciate this forum. And to all of us out there with addiction, no matter what it is, may we all have some peace today. The holidays are pretty stressful just in themselves, so may everyone battling addiction today have a few moments of gratitude.
Have a good day peeps!
Mars54