The Beginning

I was laying here thinking that another Birthdayi has passed for all my. Children and every year as the year starts the beginning starts all over again. The first year ken left us I felt I would not be aable to get through that year especially al the "First". My Beginning started min January and goes through the End of the year. I base that on when my son left this world. To some of you, your "Beginning" may start in July....or any month of the year but mine happen to Begin at the end of the year Dec 30, Memorial was Jan 3. So for the whole year I have the Beginnings starting at the beginning of the year to the end of December and start all over again in Jan.  
January First is:  New Years Day. ( we always talked and wished each a Happy New Years. 
February comes Valentines Day. A day for Sweethearts, but also a day I always gave the boys a Heart Box of Candy and wished them a Happy Valentines Day
March the Windy Month is Birthday's month.  Jeff, Ken's brothers b'day is the 5th, Ken's stepdads is the same the 5th, Me Ken's Mom's is the 8th there are many more B'days for the month of March and Ken is missed at each one
April, the rainy month. My husband and mine Anniversary! Might sound silly but April Fools Day, my day to play a joke on my boys. Then based on the year maybe Easter then again Easter could be next month. 
May comes, easter lillies bloom we may have Easter in May either month that Easter is for us it is a Family time.  Then. comes the dreaded Mother's Day. My mom's B'Day
June, another summer is on us.  More family B'Day's and the dreaded Father's Day 
July.half a year now has passed and for those first six months and I have not seen or talked to my son. Six months is a long time when you are used to talking all the time.  And July is also Ken's dads B'Day month. Gezz is there no relief yet 
August arrives, full blown heatof summer and one of the Hardest Months yet. Ken's Birthday(ofCourse most of you know that his birthday was the 21.  Along with so many birthdays in August surrounding the family. Also,August Is/was Ken's wedding anniversary.
Sept for me is the beginning going toward the end. Sept is whe the cancer begin to attack Ken's body with a rage..a month that Ken wanted to make sure Iknew where the Mom and Pop Pizza Place was. 
Oct come with the beautiful changing of the leaves. A month to see all or most of the beautiful greenery of summer break into beautiful leaves turning into colors of yellow, orange, bright reds, still some greens mixed in just beautiful rays of color as you glance out over the mountain of trees. But also the month Ken lost the ability to talk or to use his right arm or right leg. 
Nov ah November, we are all looking forward to the Thanksgiving Feast. Turkey, dressing, ham, greenbean carrosle, dumplings, cramberry sause, pumpkin pies etc of what a family has on that great day in November. November is now remembered by Ken being rushed to the hospital, finding the cancer had gone to the brain. Hearing a sound I had never heard before to look at my son's face to scream at the nurse He's Coded. Watching as they worked on him for 16 minutes to finally bring him back. Immediately surgery being done and the what had beena great Thanksgiving Dinner now tasted like cardboard 
December has arrived. Remembering one day in ICU and startled to see the bright blinking light of Christmas and wondering when did Christmas season arrive. Looking out the window as Ken laid ina coma and saying. Wow, Ken the Christmas lights are onand so pretty. You will see them soon..Christmas a time of joy for our family. A time of get-togethers, a time of watching gifts being exchanged,a time of excitment and celebration of our Saviour being born. December is coming to a close. December 30th the doctors inform us.  This is the day. At 10:43 that night, my son Ken took his last breath. 
In about one hour and one day, we begin a New Year. 
The Year begins again!