The Beginning
Ok, journal, here we go. I haven't been writing much of anything here, simply because I didn't believe myself to be "that far along" with the emphysema, and because my life is pretty boring and I don't have much to report on a daily basis. However, in the past week, I have come to realize that the emphysema really is "that far along" to at least begin journaling, and even though my life is boring, my journal shouldn't be a recap of the highlights of the activities of my life, but rather a journey of the progress of this disease and, hopefully, the strengthening of my character and my resolve to really know myself and what makes "me" work.
I can't imagine doing ths on a daily basis because I've never really been consistent with anything, except going to work and earning enough of a living to support myself and my now 31 year old son. Yes, my son still lives with me. This is partly due to the economy and partly due to several bad choices he made earlier in his life during his "teen" years. He and I both want him to be self sufficient, but the deck has always seemed stacked against us. He worked at all the fast food places, Hardee's, Burger King, McDonald's; cleaned and helped fix up foreclosed houses for resale with a large company, then on to Scotchman's, Waffle House, and eventually a taxi driver. After driving taxi's for several years, he eventually gave it up after a couple of drivers were shot here while on duty. It just got to be so dangerous, we were both glad he quit. Never did we think he would be out of work for the past 2 years. He couldn't draw unemployment because the state/IRS look at taxi driving as being "self employed" (bullsh*t, you're driving for a company). Fortunately, because he lives with me and has no means of support other than my good graces, he does get food stamps which also help my pocketbook immensely. Anyway, I took over his bills, as well as my own, and paid off two of his, leaving one large bill I'm still paying for him. All total, it costs me about $250-$300 per month to support him, even with food stamps, because they won't buy everything he needs.
I love my son dearly, but sometimes I get so angry with him and the foolish choices he made as a teenager. Believe me, I've paid for those choices as much as he has, and I'm still paying, not just financially. I really don't know why I'm writing all this about my son, except I guess I needed a starting point, and he is the largest part of my daily life. Or maybe I'm just trying to avoid my own health issues and putting my feelings out there. So, for now, I will close and write more tomorrow. I have to take all this one day at a time.
I can't imagine doing ths on a daily basis because I've never really been consistent with anything, except going to work and earning enough of a living to support myself and my now 31 year old son. Yes, my son still lives with me. This is partly due to the economy and partly due to several bad choices he made earlier in his life during his "teen" years. He and I both want him to be self sufficient, but the deck has always seemed stacked against us. He worked at all the fast food places, Hardee's, Burger King, McDonald's; cleaned and helped fix up foreclosed houses for resale with a large company, then on to Scotchman's, Waffle House, and eventually a taxi driver. After driving taxi's for several years, he eventually gave it up after a couple of drivers were shot here while on duty. It just got to be so dangerous, we were both glad he quit. Never did we think he would be out of work for the past 2 years. He couldn't draw unemployment because the state/IRS look at taxi driving as being "self employed" (bullsh*t, you're driving for a company). Fortunately, because he lives with me and has no means of support other than my good graces, he does get food stamps which also help my pocketbook immensely. Anyway, I took over his bills, as well as my own, and paid off two of his, leaving one large bill I'm still paying for him. All total, it costs me about $250-$300 per month to support him, even with food stamps, because they won't buy everything he needs.
I love my son dearly, but sometimes I get so angry with him and the foolish choices he made as a teenager. Believe me, I've paid for those choices as much as he has, and I'm still paying, not just financially. I really don't know why I'm writing all this about my son, except I guess I needed a starting point, and he is the largest part of my daily life. Or maybe I'm just trying to avoid my own health issues and putting my feelings out there. So, for now, I will close and write more tomorrow. I have to take all this one day at a time.
Replies
Don\'t feel bad. We\'re helping out (considerably ) 2 full grown sons. One has 3 degrees. Science degrees no less. It\'s the economy. They\'re working, actually a couple jobs each, but neither pay enough to totally support themselves. Hang in there. Maybe he can get one of those work training grants Obama keeps talking about? How bad is for empty? You tell me & I\'ll tell you :>))
I meant your emphysema!!
Thanks for your encouragement, kaput! My son will start a truck driving course in a few weeks at a local community college (for 4 months). We\'re hoping he\'ll get a job from that!
I have moderate emphy, just taking Spireva in the mornings and using my Pro-Air inhaler for emergencies (which I barely use). Being moderate, I\'m surprised I haven\'t had any hospital visits yet, or been put on steroids or antibiotics. Overall, I think I\'m doing pretty well, except when I try to do something strenuous, Lately, I\'ve put on about 20 lbs, and I\'ve noticed a big difference in my breathing. I really wish I could KEEP this weight off. I\'m like a roller coaster...up and down, up and down. I can lose it, but can\'t seem to keep it off. How bad is your emphy? I hope you\'re doing well!