The beginning,..............................

I think I should atleast write about my situation,  I live in Michigan, born and raised here , I am 34 and been married for 13 years in June, and been together for 14, My husband is not abusive, he rarely drinks, he's an all around nice guy, though he had a alot of issues growing up, he had to grow up fast, take c are of two younger siblings, we met at work, fast forward, ...... Things were great, we have to wonderful kids, 12 and 10, he is an awesome father, and a great husband, .....Well when his job he was at for almost 12 years closed down and moved to Mexico eh was layed off for almost a year, things were great wich meant we got to spend more time together, well he gets this job in Fowlerville, about 2 years ago now this coming May. Thats when things began to get strange and go south ,well hind sight is always 20/20, I have never checked up on him his , read his e mails, listened to his voice mails nothing like that, , never had a reason, hell eveyrone looked up to us thought we had the perfect marriage, bullet proof. Well after he started this new job, he began to act different, distant, not at first , gradually, now looking back, I can see it, He seemed to turned off to me, , cold, distant, when it came to vacations he began to spend his time up north with his family, the first year was great , so it started to become a yearly tradition, then I started to get pushed to the side, , he rarely spent any time with me ,or he was ignoring ,he wasnt mean to me, or rude but you just know when something wasn't right you know, ....so I stopped going, he told me once that he didn't want to waste his vacation or vacation day on something I wanted to do ,he doesent of course remember saying that , well so we sort of started oing out own things, on our own, I went to concerts and went out with my friends and stuff like that, I stopped asking him since he never wan ted to go anyway ,I can say about 6 months ago is when I really began to notice something was not right, about December is when it all finally came out I was off for about 6 weeks from work and about the time I was to go back to work , the weekend before Christmas, well let me back up ,he started coming home later and later ,drunk sometimes, this was so out of character for him I just thought he was going out with some guys from work, well I Think It was December 19, he didnt come until almost 5 am, I was red hot I had been trying to call him, thats another thing he stopped answering his cell, I didnt know if he was ok hurt ,it was severe wether , icy roads so on , He comes home drunk off his ass, check his voice mail; it just popped inot my head, so I did, a womans voice on there, "I Know your not a people person, , race you to the bar, teh bar is packed " Its not that damaging, but still, I busted his phone, screaming at him, That was the start of my nightmare, he told me it was someone he worked with and she had gotten his cell number off the board since he was maintainence ,at his job, a bunch of them went out , im like you could of called me, so that weekened was the first time he told me that his feelings for me had changed, I flipped out, he said he didnt want to lose me I didnt want lose him , he had enver cheated on me his conscience wouldnt let him, "Do you have her number ?" :No he told me so after a emotional weekend ,I thoguht we had gotten to the root of it, well ,January rolls by, still coming home later and later, still not feeling quite like We should be, you know ? February 19 I get let go from my job, February 20th at like 6:15 am his cell rings, as I was walking by his dad's names flashes I go to pick it up ,I see the number flash ,didnt think much about it at the time, his dad retired not to long before that and has a lot of free time on his hands, but something kept nagging at me, the area code 517, his dad lives in Indiana, 517 is a Michigan area code, so I played dumb and  said I was looking up his s isters cell number i had deleted it by accident, I hit send and a woman answered I thought at first his dad could have a girlfriend, I asked to speak to my father in law to see if he was ok for calling so early she hung up on me so I wrote the # down, when my H left for work I called the # told the voice mail who I was and left my cell and wanted to know what was going on, I wasnt' rude, , she called me back ,and we talked,she told me "I assure you we ar e just friends, i Know what your going through I just went through it I told her that he had hid her # "I dont know why he is doing that " I never told my H that I talked to her and her number stored on my cell under whore, well I went to get the number and it was gone he went into my cell and deleted it, before this I called him on his way to work that day adn thats when it call came out about him not knowing if he wanted to  e married anymore, his feelings for me had changed, and he wsnt sure if he wanted to work it out, I asked him if he had feelings for this co worker "Some 'He said "Talk about beingh blindsided, "DOes she for you?""She doesent want anything to do with me, "HE said, so that told me right there so the last 4 weeks have been pure hell, I called her back and asked her to please tell me her name, she never called me back because he told her not to , so I said did she call you?"Yes" thats how he knew I had her # I don't ,know what or if anything happened and i am not stupid, I think something did, so for 4 weeks we were  stagnant, he wouldnt talk about anything, he didnt know thats all I heard, what I Think happened was that something went down between the two of them, and she freaked out or he did, and he became angry , I think seh blew him off, and didnt know how to handle it, so they were not going to ride off into the sunset together I asked him are you waiting for her to leaver her H and your going ot kick me to the curb? no, "Are yo waiting for me to leave ?" No, this went on for a few weeks, I coudlnt leave I didnt have a job no income, no umemployment ntohing, then IO Thought why should I have to leave Im not the one who screwed up, whell Feb 28 wich is his birthday , sometime during that day I told him we could have an open marriage funny I don't remember that conversation, Feb 29 was a Friday, Saturaday and Sunday were great we went out Sat and I thought we talked it out and had a great time, we were going to stay together work it out, so I Thought ,well Monday rolls by uneventful, Tuesday ,comes, he come home from work goes and takes a shower, wich was not unusal, he get's grubby at work ,well he gets cloths out he's all clean shaven, cologne on        "Where are yo going ?"I ask baffled, "Out ;He says coldly "Out where' "'Just out "He snapped, I follow him upstairs, thats when eh drops the bombshell on me about the oepn marriage,  "Im like what ?"when the hell did I say this ?well he gets dressed I get in my car nad follow him,well we met up and said 'What are we doing ?" he gives me an ultimatum , open marriage or it;s iover, so I said I'ts over, you need to come home let me get a job and let me get on my feet then you can go you can't leave the kids and I high and dry like this ,he gets in his truck and leaves, so I go to a friends home, for a few hours then go home ,barricade the house so he can't comle in, my kids were at my parents, That was the longest night of my life, I had a job interview the next day I had to hold it together, no sleep, nerves were reay I told him to pack his shit nad get out, it was over, left a nasty voicemail and letter on the door, I just wanted him gone, youknow finally some closure, he came home right after I did wich shocked me since he never leaves work or calls in, I just got home after my interview and he kept trying to talk to me, IM like get your shit and get out, thats when it came out about the woman he picked up at the bar on Feb 29 and went bakc ot her place, and proceeded to sleep with her ,, I stood there, I came downstairs, and kept saying Friday, he slept iwth her then came home and slept with me Sat and SUn, I went upstairs and began slapping him, and hitting him, he packed up and went to his sisters, wehn is it going ot end I kept saying , "You siad it was ok, 'He said to me, "You wanted and open marriage ' I made up my mind he got waht he wanted he wanted out he's out now, it's over, now he can go be with with what's her face I thought it was the woman he worked with ,turns out it wasnt, and he was at his sisters, I jsut wanted him gone, out of my life, then he kept calling me one morning I shut my phone off then he showed up , he kept looking at me, like he was waitng for me to say soemthing im like im done, ive begged, c ried, pleaded, the last 6 weeks there is nothing left to say ,I told him I had to go and get checked since I think teh skank gave em someting wich turns out she did, Well we are trying to work it out he's back home, things seem to be going great , except I have this dbout about this co worker of his he comes home every day there is no missing time, money,i told him he needs to get a different job nad get out of there for the sake of my s anity ,I have an itemized nextel bill comoing no one know about it ,it will tell me how often they are talkingif they still are, he can erase his call history but he doesent know about the bill coming here, I am giving him the benefit of the doubt right now ,but we;ll seenow he says he know what he wants, me, he loves me, my heads still spinning.'