The Beast
At least thank goodness I had a few days of not having to feel this horrible pain. I knew it would be back, it ALWAYS comes back, but still it is hard not to be hopeful that maybe just maybe this will be the time it does not return, (is that even possible?) this was not my time to remain without it.......It has sunk it's claws in deep this time and is letting me know it is present, it has not left me to live in peace, it has not left me to be able to stand for more than 20 seconds without wanting to double over and vomit, it has not left me to full nights of sleep, no it is still here, sinking it's ugly claws ever deeper into my organs, into my every fiber, (physical, mental, emotional)......it is not going to stop until it has taken over every aspect of my life......the ugly beast is letting me know that it is here and does not plan on going anywhere anytime soon.....it likes to tease you occasionally with days of no pain to make you think with hopeful thoughts then when you least expect it the beast strikes.......It does not start with light pain..... no, when it strikes you are doubled over, in tears, BEGGING for mercy, but this beast is merciless, it does not care that it causes you not only the horrendus physical pain but the mental and emotional also, that it not only effects you but everyone in your life, this beast shows no mercy, it makes you suffer and it does not care because this beast knows there is nothing that can touch it nothing that can stop it......So it continues without relent tormenting and torchuring, making you wish that you could rip everything from your body to get just some even if only for a moment relief from the horrendous claws that are shredding your insides......There is no relief though, there is no mercy, and worst of all the beast ALWAYS comes back.
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