The back story
UGH...just want to get past this...married 18 ½ years. We have 3 teenage boys. In 2009 he was unfaithful. I fought for our marriage and family. He was always going out, partying, not coming home. I thought he was having a mid-life crisis. Finally I told him he needed to leave unless he was going to work on the marriage. He left.
We ran into each other one evening. From there we fought, talked and worked through a lot to come back together. I thought we were on the same page again. Turns out we weren’t.
In September 2012, he got in trouble with the law for possession. Then he lost his job. He said the marijuana use calmed his aggressive/hostile behavior. He also blamed his actions and behavior on having too many concussions over the years. Think this was around the same time there was a lot of tv coverage on NFL players and concussions and another retired NFL player committed suicide. In October, he started a social security disability claim saying that now he can’t work.
In February 2013, he was sentenced to thirty days in a halfway house to get treatment. It was a very difficult time. When he was released, at first, everything was better. I think he wanted to be a better person. I know I wanted him to be a better person.
Time goes on, he didn’t work a real job all summer, we kept getting further in debt. He was home all day and he would barely spend time with our kids. I was working over 60 hours a week at a full time job and 3 part-time cleaning jobs. He wouldn’t do much extra to help out around the house. He’d sometimes do side jobs and would help with the bills. Though he’d also spend it on tattoos or whatever else he wanted. Including drugs because he started that again.
I stood by him through all of this. I kept my dreams alive that we would get through this rough patch, his health issues would be manageable, we’d participate in our children’s lives together and grow old together.
October 2013 - found out he was having a texting/talking affair with a single mom that our oldest son was friends with, and played football with, had in the same classes. The talking/texting was all I could prove. A week later I found out about his 4 year affair with someone else that he was neglecting due to his new relationship.
I filed for divorce and it was easy to get him out of the house since he wanted to be with her anyway. He never attempted to spend time with the kids until we went to court for early intervention. The referee was awful! She ordered our kids to go to his girlfriends’ home to spend time with him on Christmas. At that point, I hired a lawyer.
The divorce could have been over months ago but instead, days before the trial was to begin, he hired a lawyer and is going after me for alimony. I bust my butt to support my family. I’ve been responsible for all of our marital debt except his doctor bills. I’m living paycheck to paycheck. I don’t receive any support from him at all.
We ran into each other one evening. From there we fought, talked and worked through a lot to come back together. I thought we were on the same page again. Turns out we weren’t.
In September 2012, he got in trouble with the law for possession. Then he lost his job. He said the marijuana use calmed his aggressive/hostile behavior. He also blamed his actions and behavior on having too many concussions over the years. Think this was around the same time there was a lot of tv coverage on NFL players and concussions and another retired NFL player committed suicide. In October, he started a social security disability claim saying that now he can’t work.
In February 2013, he was sentenced to thirty days in a halfway house to get treatment. It was a very difficult time. When he was released, at first, everything was better. I think he wanted to be a better person. I know I wanted him to be a better person.
Time goes on, he didn’t work a real job all summer, we kept getting further in debt. He was home all day and he would barely spend time with our kids. I was working over 60 hours a week at a full time job and 3 part-time cleaning jobs. He wouldn’t do much extra to help out around the house. He’d sometimes do side jobs and would help with the bills. Though he’d also spend it on tattoos or whatever else he wanted. Including drugs because he started that again.
I stood by him through all of this. I kept my dreams alive that we would get through this rough patch, his health issues would be manageable, we’d participate in our children’s lives together and grow old together.
October 2013 - found out he was having a texting/talking affair with a single mom that our oldest son was friends with, and played football with, had in the same classes. The talking/texting was all I could prove. A week later I found out about his 4 year affair with someone else that he was neglecting due to his new relationship.
I filed for divorce and it was easy to get him out of the house since he wanted to be with her anyway. He never attempted to spend time with the kids until we went to court for early intervention. The referee was awful! She ordered our kids to go to his girlfriends’ home to spend time with him on Christmas. At that point, I hired a lawyer.
The divorce could have been over months ago but instead, days before the trial was to begin, he hired a lawyer and is going after me for alimony. I bust my butt to support my family. I’ve been responsible for all of our marital debt except his doctor bills. I’m living paycheck to paycheck. I don’t receive any support from him at all.
Replies
Your situation sounds incredibly unfair. It\'s understandable that you\'re frustrated by the constant delays. I certainly hope you\'re seeking child support if only to offset his ridiculous alimony claim. Hang in there.