The boys
Today was the day. For two months we played house and kept secret our separation. We told the boys today. I have been dreading and at the same time really wanting to get it over.
They seem okay. My 18 year old suspected. My 15 year old appeared shocked. It took him a couple of minutes to get his mind around it. Then he was worried about what would happen next. His mother and I planned to keep him with her in the marital house. I told him the only thing that will change is where I sleep. There is no hate here. He was worried about where I as going to go. I told him i'm looking for a place with an extra bedroom for him to come stay with me whenever he wants.
He seems okay. Both boys hugged my wife and I. Good long hugs. Hugs of people that really care about each other. Not once did I lie to them.
There is no hate. I get along better with my stbx now than I got along with her before. We really did try to keep it together. Over two years of marriage counseling and we just could not find a way.
I went over to my folks house. They are still married after 45 years. I so thought I would be just like them. But it wasn't to be. I explained the situation to them and they were really sad too. They offered to let me come live with them, but it is time I have some time on my own. Once again, I explained there is no hate here. It just wasn't a marriage anymore. We were decent roommates.
I wasn't expecting to be so upset today. But finally breaking the news brought me back to two months ago when we called it quits. I'm sitting in the TV room with my son. He is playing Fallout 4 and I am writing this note. He seems okay. Not angry.
I'm very grateful to this site. Everyone's sharing has let me know I am not alone and that life will be okay if I want it to be. Thank you.
They seem okay. My 18 year old suspected. My 15 year old appeared shocked. It took him a couple of minutes to get his mind around it. Then he was worried about what would happen next. His mother and I planned to keep him with her in the marital house. I told him the only thing that will change is where I sleep. There is no hate here. He was worried about where I as going to go. I told him i'm looking for a place with an extra bedroom for him to come stay with me whenever he wants.
He seems okay. Both boys hugged my wife and I. Good long hugs. Hugs of people that really care about each other. Not once did I lie to them.
There is no hate. I get along better with my stbx now than I got along with her before. We really did try to keep it together. Over two years of marriage counseling and we just could not find a way.
I went over to my folks house. They are still married after 45 years. I so thought I would be just like them. But it wasn't to be. I explained the situation to them and they were really sad too. They offered to let me come live with them, but it is time I have some time on my own. Once again, I explained there is no hate here. It just wasn't a marriage anymore. We were decent roommates.
I wasn't expecting to be so upset today. But finally breaking the news brought me back to two months ago when we called it quits. I'm sitting in the TV room with my son. He is playing Fallout 4 and I am writing this note. He seems okay. Not angry.
I'm very grateful to this site. Everyone's sharing has let me know I am not alone and that life will be okay if I want it to be. Thank you.
Replies
I\'m glad you got the \"telling the kids\" out of the way. I think in your situation that may be the hardest part of your divorce and sad as it is, be glad you and your stbx are being civil about things, I hope that continues. Good luck in the coming weeks and with all of the decisions you will be making. Hugs to you and your sweet children, it\'s a rough time for all.
Ps: I always wanted the 50 plus year marriage but sadly I\'ve been divorced twice, sometimes that is very upsetting to me because all I really wanted was to be married, still do but this is my life, my path, so I will live the life that is given. I agree, the support here is wonderful in all of our situations.
I can\'t imagine being married for so long and bring two children into the world with your partner and to have to walk away because it just couldn\'t work. My parents divorced after 6 kids and 24 years I can\'t even imagine how hard that must be, here I am crying over a break up from a year and a half. I hope you truly find happiness you, and your family.
Thanks yougospam and ekc8838. ekc8838 You certainly came to the right place. This group is full of those in various states of relationship recovery. I get hope from the stories of those that healed. Many happy. I\'m trying to learn to be happy on my own. Maybe i\'m still at the bitter stage of things, but I really don\'t want to engage in a relationship ever again.