the bad

The "bad" could be worse, I suppose.  T is behaving, as expected, like he has some new found freedom - which he does.  His grades have slipped - has 2 F's on the interim report.  It comes at no surprise, however, because he doesn't bring home any homework, nor does he study.  He is "chilling" with some of the same kids he used to party with and from what the assistant principal tells me - these kids (who once were in the system) are back at some of the past behaviors, though not as bad as before. I know it's the nature of the beast - this youth addiction problem - that it's going to take time for him to "get it".  He is no longer attending AA, nor is he following house rules like he should, and he's breaking some school rules (he should have had a 3 day out-of-school suspension but the assistant principal let it slide because he's closer to finishing this semester than not).  T hasn't had a behavioral problem in school - he just didn't choose to serve some detentions related to the past behavior.  So ......I'm not going to worry about it.  I feel awful but I am at the point where I really don't like my son right now.  Obvously, I love him with all of my heart but I really don't have any warm feelings for him.   I feel guilty about these feelings but I feel as though he's trampled on me so many times.  It hurts and it makes me sad.  But I know he isn't doing it to me intentionally.  He's just being a kid who has realized that he has more power than he had before.  I told him that he has to be home from prom by 1AM if he chooses not to go to the After Prom at the high school.  He told me he doesn't want to attend the After Prom event.  I know he will do what he wants no matter what I say.  He turns 18 in July and I never could EVER imagine a parent kicking their child out of the house until now.  I hope it doesn't get to that point.   That would be bad....and sad......