The art of deception

Deception is an intentional act.  It's not an accident.  It is planned and rehearsed in the mind till blame and guilt are erased.
Disguised as self preservation and redirected as hate toward the innocent spouse.   
Words are used like "you don't trust me" or "you are controlling".   All part of the lies to continue the game you are playing with other peoples lives.
Those that are deceived wake up too late.  They discover they were fools.  There is no shame in being that fool.   You gave trust, understanding and loyalty to the other person.  They accepted those gifts and used them as tools.
Shame on the deceptive ways of the cheating spouse.  You will never understand the pain till you feel it yourself.  
You fooled me, your friends, your children, and your family.  But you cannot decieve ourself or God.  One day you will have to answer to both.
There is some relief for  the deceiver.   Forgiveness from those you hurt.  But forgiveness must be sought and you will never seek that which you don't even realize you need.