The Anxiety is the hardest!

Well, since I sent him that message I've been on edge ever since. Checking the computer every 12 or so hours to see if he's replied and finding the inbox empty.I've been so on edge that I've been rather snappy with my family. Yelling at them and getting jeolous of them for stupid things.The worst was what I did this afternoon. My sister Marie had her friend Ana and her niece Shan over. And because they thought it would be nice idea, they decided they wanted to play mini golf. I not feeling much like going, (because of the mood I'm in) went anyway because I wanted to get out of the house. Well it went smoothly to begin with, until my younger sister Lisa started getting bad scores. She then started to have tantrums, driving me nuts! So I told her stop being a sore loser and it's just a game! And thankfully she finished the whole 18 holes.But at the end, when she decided to calculate the scores, she wouldn't let me see who had won and lost. This made me angry and I grabbed it of her. I saw that I had won, but she had purposely not put down her own score. So I tryed to calculate it as fast as I could but Lisa keeped on trying to grab the score sheet from me. This annoyed me so much that I pushed her rathly from me and said "Fuck off!"10 minutes later I tried to apologize but she was now angry at me! Which riled me up more!And so when we all got back to the house I waited another half an hour and thankfully she accepted my appology.Anyhow that little message is messing with my mind, and I'm so afraid of seeing him now! Trying to think more clearly now though and put it to the back of my head for now.