The 2nd entry-Thursday-June 12th,2008

It was a good day for me today and I feel pretty good.I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders,yet I still feel alone.Brad just ordered 2 new cell phones.This one that we have is junk.We have had it for two years..but no matter how I charge it..it is always on the blink.The phones are suppose to come tomorrow and I cannot wait.I am grateful that my brother has helped me out again.I finallypaid that 100.00 for the energy bill and if I make another payment..I will have 86.00 left.It has been a struggle for me and I will pay them again.It is so expensive caring for this house..but when you rent where I am..you are responsible for the utlitiies.Brad does not know and he never will.I learned today that the rebate checks may be late and they wont come on time until July.I hope not because I have to pay this off and I do not want him to explode at me like he usually does.I cannot stand all these sensitive guys.They are the worst when it comes to relationships.They do not talk at all and Brad lives in a shell.Anything that is social..he does not attend.He also does not like crowds and this is killing me.What is the big ado of going to a reunion? What is the problem? Look,I attended high school from 1962 to 1966 and things were so different then.I grew up at a time that was so magical and it can never be repeated.I had some of the best music and I also had the best prices.Every thing was so cheap in 1962 and people got along.However,people fail to realize this...The reason why there is all this buildings is because of one word-Overpopulation. And we cannot condemn people who are better off then we are..but they have to life somewhere.I live in a fantastic neighborhood now and I never want to leave.Everything for me is in walking distance.I do not need a car.I have got everything here and I have got no desire to go to some of the places that I have read about in seattle.Number one..the buses here run pretty regularly but after 7 o clock..it is difficult.So I must make dew with what I have and I do.There is no reason why I need to go out at night in seattle.No reason.I have got no desire to do so anyway.I like to be home early and in front of my tv watching my favorite show:Law and Order and seeing Kiro news.I am not shy..but I like to be home at a certain time now and with 3 cats,a yard and house..i have plenty to do.But today I cried over Frank again and I do not have any emotional support as of now.I am in a lot of pain and you will never know it.I keep everything on the inside and I hope that things will get better and I can sing again.I dropped out of choir and this is because of the new people.There are plenty of clicks there now and that has never happened.I sang for 2 years and that is enough for now.I havent had a vacation since 2004 and I do need a day or week off to recharge this batteries.Adios! CHeerio.Smells like teen Spirit.Nirvana rules.Go kurt Go!