The 2nd entry-the realization 5/6/2008

This is my 2nd entry as of today and believe me it is so hard.How do you explain to someone that you just met that your friend .your best friend at work may have been the victim of a well know serial killer? First of all,noone said much back in 1969 and there was noone avaible to hear our complaints.Every thing was different,including work.And at work,all you got was a lunch break if you were lucky.There was no coffee breaks or any of these motional meetings.If you did something wrong,well they told you about it once.If you did the same thing twice..you were fired.I did not want to leave my job.I loved it.But after the death of Star things began to change in work and it was not better.People were leaving.Some got married.One girl left to have a baby and that was that in those days.I wanted something so much bigger.I was so restless like the Vampire Lestat.I was always the quiet one in the family.I was always the dreamer like Lestat stated.And I tried my best to be nice and such.I really did.But then I got sick.And noone knew back then.It was a very painful time for me.I was crying out for help.The only person who listened was Frank.One day Frank surprized me and picked me up at work.He knew that I was depressed so he took me out to Johnny and Hanges which was a popular hot dog and hamburger place back east.He loved the hot dogs.I still do. I have always loved my chili dogs.You cannot get these hot dogs either nor can you get The Philly Steak.I realized that as of today that we must learn to forgive the past.You must come to terms with it.And I did.I have accepted the fact that Star is dead and never coming back.I have accepted the fact that she was brutually murdered and I have accepted the fact that it will never be solved.I did not go to the funeral nor do I go to the grave.I do not kn ow where she is buried.i want to remember the happy times that we shared in work.The laughter.The parties.ANd those famous parties.I will never forget.So many people today want to bring back the 1960s.You cant.You have to live in this era and sense it.You had to sense the clothes and music.And I will always be glad that I grew up with decent music and I will never forget these people.These people were a big influence.But they are not gods.The people of the 1960s were human beings with faults.We all must realize this.And as long as I live--I will never make another person a god again.I will never put anyone before me or whatever I have left now.This is the lesson that Frank said to me before he died.And as for Frank,it is Tuesday--guess what? The Yankess beat the Mariners,BUBBA!Here is looking at you kid.And goodbye until tomorrow,my sweet brother.