that time again

well i'm back again... and here i thought i was just being b*****y... hell... I now know it's a despression and not the other..   Dang it... wish I could shake it... can't.... supposed to be doing some christmas shopping and am feeling like **Nope...l don't wanna!   You can't make me... **... gotta change that way of thinking and soon... things will just get worse if I don't finish the shopping.  I'll be mowing down old ladies that are taking too long to make up their minds. 
I'll update later and hopefully things will have changed some.  I so miss Paul and Tracy and wish they were here... Maybe that's where my Christmas went.  Actually I'm pretty sure that is where it went.  What I would give for the good old days.  \
feerlin somewhere between sad and horrible... want a pick me up