That\'s it

My wife and I talked last night and decided we are going to end it. Although its very early in the game, she is already talking about getting her share. I think that caught me by surprise, although it shouldn't. I would like her to stay in the house but she say's no. She wants her cut. It bothers me to think that the place that we and our family have called home for twenty five years will no longer exsist. She knows that she will get her fare share plus, but if she is going to take this route, I guess she will get only what's coming to her. I haven't been able to find a job and I have been trying so hard. I'm broke with no where to go. We have friends coming from Nova Scotia at the end of the week, so we are going to keep it under wrapps until they are gone. At least I have the reasons now for what is happening. She said that she doesn't blame me for my job ending 4 years ago and it was not my fault. In my job settlement they continued to pay me for 2 years, but if I had found another job that would be cut in half. I wanted to make sure they paid me the full amount, so I did no find a job for that time. She is very angry about that one. I am also being blamed of course for drinking everthing we had, but that is obviously not true, cause now we have to split the assetts. I so wish this wasn't happening. I asked a question about sobriety and divorce and I got the answer that some people, after beng in control so long can't give it up. That is so very true in my situation. I guess it is all my fault,  I have to live with that for the rest of my life, but it's time to open a new chapter in my life. Yesterday is gone and I can't change that, It's time to move on and I really wish it wasn't.