That Rotten Scoundrel

Life is not happy happy happy... I am working on being more positive... I haven't stopped missing Cara's earthly presence... that's not going to happen... I am believing that I should make the best of this life and look forward to the next one... She is with me here and she will be with me there...   I do think it helps to try to find something to smile about... so that's why I'm sharing these jokes I'm stealing yall...  Love Yall  Hugs Elissa  I felt so good about my efforts to keep trying I went and raise my self image booster 5% LOL         An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...   Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? < /B>Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see< /SPAN>. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines t he license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank yo u ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a lice nse, that you stole this car, and       that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!Don't Mess With Old Ladies