Thanksgiving Time!........great

Well, here it comes again. Thanksgiving, a time to spend with family and friends and loved ones having fun, greating great food and all around having a good time enjoying the day for what it is. I will be spending Thanksgiving Day alone, I just feel so down and unsocialble. No mom, no dad, no sisters, I have nothing I am just left with nothing. It is so sad and I feel so terribly aweful, but for what? myself? Well it's true I do, I choose to be like this, and I was invited to some Thanksgiving dinners, but turned them down for reason that are beyond me. I don't know why I am feeling so anti-social latley just feels like depression is slowly start to find it's way into my life again. It's not like I am not thankful though I am so greatful for everything around me and I do appreciate services that are provided for us and I am thankful for the sun that grows our crops and the rain which helps things grow. I do think about these things I would be silly not to because of how much time I spend alone and just sitting around thinking all day. I find ways to be thankful for things because I have no body so when I am around people it's just nice to take in company so I am just thankful for that even. I am planning on making a dinner...for myself and my doggies tomorrow, won't be a big feast like I had and I can remember ever so vividly as a child having a supportive family with structured family ties and everything seemed so happy. I took forgranted just how good I had it when I was a child and I guess when days like tomorrow come around I miss how much they actually mean to me. I remember my grandpa and grandma comming over and all my cousins, aunts, uncles, everybody...I was always told how good I was at sports and that I was going to make it to be some star one day well they probably were right. I held myself down and back and I continue to do so with this life I choose to lead, I am in the process of getting things back to normal and really making a push to turn my life around, but still it's days like tomorrow...Thanksgiving that are painful to spend alone, but until I make an effort to change my ways this is how is going to be.