Thanksgiving?

Well, I spent my first Thanksgiving alone, watching videos about people going home for the holidays.  I feel strangely numb and haven't cryed for a long while, just prayed alot that God will help me through this.  Talked to my nephew on the phone and he was busy hanging Christmas lights.  His brothers and sisters where there along with his wife, kids and mom.  It made me feel worse because I couldn't be there - he lives out of state.  I turned down a job offer because he wanted me to start right away and my disability isn't over until January.  The job was fund raising and I had missgivings about it because it was only minimum wage and bonus determined by how many pledges or credit cards you get.  I need a job and wage I can count on and called him last night about it and he said that he couldn't wait until Jan and needed someone now.  I think it was probably only a temporary job which wouldn't have been any use to me anyway but it makes me feel bad to turn down a job.