Thanks to my STBX!

Initially I wanted to type out a whole host of profanities directed at my stbx.  I wanted to rail at his lack of attention or interest in our children...at how hot/cold he is in dealing with me...the "games" he plays, etc. etc.  However, I decided to look at the situation from a different perspective.  I'd like to thank him.  He has now confirmed for me that I am better off going it alone, as a single mom, than to spend another minute of my time or energy trying to make our relationship work.  I had doubts about trying to work on our relationship in counseling, and he's now proved to me WHY I had those doubts.  Trust your gut!!!  = )  I felt like I wanted to see what would happen for us in counseling, despite my reservations.  We have small children and because there'd been no infidelity or major financial issues, etc. between us, I thought maybe we could work on communication and other things.  To back up, on the day we were to sign final divorce papers (a divorce HE initiated and wanted), he called me and wanted to "talk."  I said okay, but only with a counselor.  So for the last six months we've been in counseling.  It's been good for me--I've learned a lot about myself and also had the counselor validate some things for me about him.  He's high-maintenance.  He's very needy.  He tries to find validation of himself through external things:  buying things, establishing non-deep relationships with random people (bartender, trainer, etc.)  He's also emotionally unavailable until he wants something.  What I've also learned recently, is he dated and slept with a few different women this past year...and one of them gave him an STD.  Ick.  I don't want to go near him.I am a strong, independent, caring, loving person.  Over the years, he's made me question that about myself.  This last year, separated from him, I'd found "myself" again and I've felt more content.  More recently, because I've spent more time with him,  I recognize that I've slipped backwards and started second-guessing myself again.  I realize that he tries to project his own ego and self-esteem issues onto me.  He's blamed me for all things bad in our relationship.   I know I am not at fault.  I certainly have things I can work on, but I refuse to take the blame.  The fact that cannot stand up and be a man and admit his own issues, solidifies for me that he is not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.