Thanks, RE Update, Vacation & Stupidity
Hi and Happy Friday! Thought it would be easier if I broke this journal into 4 separate parts since I have a lot to say....warning.....this is a bit long.....
THANK YOU
As always, thank you for the hugs, the support and the positivity. I know I sound like a broken record, but I seriously couldn't get through any of this craptastic IF crap without you all!!! Its amazing the bonds we can form thru the internet and I'm eternally grateful for them. I wish for all of our baby dreams to come true.
RE APPOINTMENT UPDATE
My clinic has 4 REs, and its basically like, whoever is working that day is who you see. Its a pretty busy clinic, so a lot of times I feel rushed when I have questions for the RE but today the one I met with (the director of the center) took his time with me. I pulled out a piece of paper and warned him to get comfortable because I had a lot of questions lol. Although he answered them all, he really didn't have much insight as to what's not working, etc. He did my sono and told me my ovaries "looked really great for my age" and said he really just thinks we need to keep trying, that we have to hope to find that miracle egg. I brought up DE (even though we already know its way too expensive and not really feasible) and he told me about the 6 month waiting list and roughly $20k cost. He doesn't think we should consider that yet, even though he really thinks the reason the FETs keep failing is my age. We discussed taking blood to analyze it for the MTHFR and other immunologic disorders - the miscarriage panel test - just to make sure I don't have any that could be preventing pregnancy. He is pretty sure the tests would come back ok though. I found out that the tests could cost $5,000 out of pocket if my insurance doesn't cover it, so I decided to find out before they took the 20 vials of blood they were promising to do. Well, that literally ate up my entire afternoon.....RE's office said to be on the safe side and make sure insurance paid, I should have my blood drawn at my OB/GYNs office. So I called there and they were able to fit me in last minute. Then I called my insurance, who made me call the lab who analyzes the blood, all this while racing to beat the clock and get to my OB's office on time. Well it turns out, my insurance will not pay for it if goes thru my OB because they do not use the in network lab!! AAAARGGH!! Turns out, my RE uses the lab so its covered thru the RE, BUT by now the RE is closing and I can't get there in time to get my blood drawn. AAARRRGHH again. Meanwhile, I have a ton of work to do since I'm leaving for vacation (see next journal blurb) and also I'm trying like mad to get this test done today since they need time to get the results and I need them before my next FET and since I won't be able to go all next week to the RE. I ended up getting a call from another RE (my favorite one) about an hour ago, and she adamantly thinks the blood test is a waste of time since she is 99% sure it will come back ok and my age is the reason for our IF, but she said if I want the test, they will gladly do it to reassure me. She said that even if it comes back showing some disorder, the only way to treat it with baby aspirin and lovenox shots anyway. So after all is said and done, we are moving ahead with FET #3 and I'll probably get the bloodwork done even if we won't get the results before the FET. I just don't see any reason to hold up the FET if this isn't a concern.
VACATION
DH and I decided last minute to do a roadtrip so we are heading to one of our favorite happy places - Maine! I cannot wait to spend a few days up there.....really need some healing time. We're leaving early Sunday morning, so I'll be offline a few days but you'll all be in my thoughts and prayers.
STUPID PEOPLE
I'm ending the journal blurbs with this one.....so I had lunch with a friend the other day who recently had a baby. I haven't seen her since she gave birth (of course I've been avoiding her) but I was out of excuses. So we sit down and the first thing she says to me is: "Having a baby is great, I highly recommend it; you should do it." OMG, nope, she didn't just say that TO ME did she!? And yes, she knows our IF struggles and that we're doing IVF. So I said to her, well its not that easy for everyone, hello, you know we are trying like mad here, and you should remember that before saying things like that! She took it well and seemed apologetic, and I was glad I didn't just sit there letting her "recommend" to me something I've been wanting my whole freaking life.
If you are still reading this, bless your heart....I know this was a long one but I guess I had a lot to say!! Thanks for making it this far or attempting to if you just skipped to the bottom :) Love and hugs to you all xoxoxo
THANK YOU
As always, thank you for the hugs, the support and the positivity. I know I sound like a broken record, but I seriously couldn't get through any of this craptastic IF crap without you all!!! Its amazing the bonds we can form thru the internet and I'm eternally grateful for them. I wish for all of our baby dreams to come true.
RE APPOINTMENT UPDATE
My clinic has 4 REs, and its basically like, whoever is working that day is who you see. Its a pretty busy clinic, so a lot of times I feel rushed when I have questions for the RE but today the one I met with (the director of the center) took his time with me. I pulled out a piece of paper and warned him to get comfortable because I had a lot of questions lol. Although he answered them all, he really didn't have much insight as to what's not working, etc. He did my sono and told me my ovaries "looked really great for my age" and said he really just thinks we need to keep trying, that we have to hope to find that miracle egg. I brought up DE (even though we already know its way too expensive and not really feasible) and he told me about the 6 month waiting list and roughly $20k cost. He doesn't think we should consider that yet, even though he really thinks the reason the FETs keep failing is my age. We discussed taking blood to analyze it for the MTHFR and other immunologic disorders - the miscarriage panel test - just to make sure I don't have any that could be preventing pregnancy. He is pretty sure the tests would come back ok though. I found out that the tests could cost $5,000 out of pocket if my insurance doesn't cover it, so I decided to find out before they took the 20 vials of blood they were promising to do. Well, that literally ate up my entire afternoon.....RE's office said to be on the safe side and make sure insurance paid, I should have my blood drawn at my OB/GYNs office. So I called there and they were able to fit me in last minute. Then I called my insurance, who made me call the lab who analyzes the blood, all this while racing to beat the clock and get to my OB's office on time. Well it turns out, my insurance will not pay for it if goes thru my OB because they do not use the in network lab!! AAAARGGH!! Turns out, my RE uses the lab so its covered thru the RE, BUT by now the RE is closing and I can't get there in time to get my blood drawn. AAARRRGHH again. Meanwhile, I have a ton of work to do since I'm leaving for vacation (see next journal blurb) and also I'm trying like mad to get this test done today since they need time to get the results and I need them before my next FET and since I won't be able to go all next week to the RE. I ended up getting a call from another RE (my favorite one) about an hour ago, and she adamantly thinks the blood test is a waste of time since she is 99% sure it will come back ok and my age is the reason for our IF, but she said if I want the test, they will gladly do it to reassure me. She said that even if it comes back showing some disorder, the only way to treat it with baby aspirin and lovenox shots anyway. So after all is said and done, we are moving ahead with FET #3 and I'll probably get the bloodwork done even if we won't get the results before the FET. I just don't see any reason to hold up the FET if this isn't a concern.
VACATION
DH and I decided last minute to do a roadtrip so we are heading to one of our favorite happy places - Maine! I cannot wait to spend a few days up there.....really need some healing time. We're leaving early Sunday morning, so I'll be offline a few days but you'll all be in my thoughts and prayers.
STUPID PEOPLE
I'm ending the journal blurbs with this one.....so I had lunch with a friend the other day who recently had a baby. I haven't seen her since she gave birth (of course I've been avoiding her) but I was out of excuses. So we sit down and the first thing she says to me is: "Having a baby is great, I highly recommend it; you should do it." OMG, nope, she didn't just say that TO ME did she!? And yes, she knows our IF struggles and that we're doing IVF. So I said to her, well its not that easy for everyone, hello, you know we are trying like mad here, and you should remember that before saying things like that! She took it well and seemed apologetic, and I was glad I didn't just sit there letting her "recommend" to me something I've been wanting my whole freaking life.
If you are still reading this, bless your heart....I know this was a long one but I guess I had a lot to say!! Thanks for making it this far or attempting to if you just skipped to the bottom :) Love and hugs to you all xoxoxo
Replies
Thank you for sharing all of that. Sounds like you had quite the stress between checking for insurance coverage and the timing of everything. All that to find out you don\'t need the bloodwork done :) Oh my.
But I am glad you are moving forward with #3 and I wish you the very best in Maine. Vacation can be so very very healing as you know.
And yes...what a stupid thing for your friend to say.
I\'m so glad you didn\'t let that slide and you let her know how you feel.
Have a most wonderful time in Maine :)
I\'m so glad you are getting away for a mini vaca. I\'m sure it will help you take your mind off thingd. I can\'t believe your friend. One of mine already told me One mc is normal and you\'ve had two, stop worrying ! That was a couple of days before my 3rd. Some people really are too stupid about IF.
Let us know when you go for your FET #3. I\'ll hope they kept the best for last.
Hugs
I hope the vacation is relaxing and peaceful! Glad you were able to talk to your RE about some concerns too. I know your friend opened her mouth and stuck her foot in, but good for you for being honest, and I give her some credit for being able to accept that she was thoughtless. So many people just get defensive and stick to their guns, even though they know it hurts. Sounds like she didn\'t mean to. I think it\'s so important for people on both sides to be able to talk honestly about IF and how it affects our relationships. Good for you for sticking up for yourself! Best of luck for your FET!
I LOVE MAINE! I grew up in NH so I love all things New England, LOL. I hope you have a nice relaxing time on your last minute vacation!
I am really surprised he did not suggest DE with you because of your age. I guess maybe its because your embies do grow well which is a plus! Hopefully the next FET is lucky #3! Will be sending you all sorts of good vibes for that one!
I bet if you were paying out of pocket for your IVFs the re would be more inclined to suggest de but since you have embies frozen and insurance money left to burn, heck, why not keep trying for the brass ring? Miracles do happen, yours could be next. Is there any sense in getting on that 6mo waiting list and starting fund raising just in case? I am sorry for stupid people, I am always acknowledging intent and ignoring content, but really, sounds like your friend could have used a little slap (particularly insensitive- seriously??). I hope you enjoy your trip to Maine. Funny thing about vacation, I have this thing where after each failure we go on vacation- a way to escape and reboot, and a way to tell IF to f-off we are still going to enjoy life, and this time we had planned a backcountry hiking trip in Rocky MountainNational Park (a big trip!).. Now we can\'t go and are trying to figure out how to recoup 1100 bucks! Wouldnt have it any other way but its just another crappy side effect of IF. Looking forward to hearing about your next cycle :)
I was reading my comment and I am not saying it would be a miracle if you get pregnant, but that getting pregnant period is a miracle. It sounded funny the way I read it.
Proud of you for advocating for yourself with the doctors, the insurance companies, and your a hole friend. Hope you have a blast in Maine and get your mind off things for a bit. You deserve a vacay! Xoxo
Wow I can\'t believe your friend, how is it that people who know what we are going through still manage to say stupid shit! You handed it well, good for you!
Sounds like a good appt with your RE, honest and open. I\'m glad your moving forward with your next FET, I am hoping this is the one! Enjoy Maine, it\'s my favorite vaca spot!!!
Your RE is right, skip the tests, even if everything came back wrong on the tests the way to fix it all would be Lovenox, baby asprin and prednisone. Make sure to ask your RE about a low dose prednisone for the next FET.
I wish there were clear cut answers as to why the last two didn\'t work. I think that\'s one of the hardest thing about IF is they can very rarely pinpoint exactly why things are not working. My hope for you is that third time is a charm!
Have fun and Maine and try to forget about it all while your away.
Girl I can\'t believe your friend! Ugh no she didn\'t! I am so glad you got her straight! I hope you get some rest and relaxation on vacay!
Praying that FET #3 is your lucky number!!!
I have you have an amazing time in Maine, you deserve a nice getaway!
That girl is a moron, who says such stupid and cruel things when she KNOWS you are going through IVF. Can I smack her please?? I\'m just across the river, it wouldn\'t be out of my way or anything ;)
Enjoy your trip - look forward to your next update.
YAY for vacation!! You deserve it, and nothing like having fun w/ ur hubby to get you relaxed and geared for FET #3. I am confident that this has to work, and I know they\'re all chalking it up to age, but you have eggs that grew so well they made it to freeze. That is supposed to mean something. What i\'m thinking is that your little one is just trying to make a grand entrance by appearing on your last hope string :-) Have a great trip!
I hope you had a nice vacation! We all need those getaways here and there:) Especially in the midst of this headache of a road. Sorry you had to deal with your friend, how rude! But, I am so glad you spoke up. I am crossing my fingers for you that #3 is your magic cycle that brings you your BFP! xoxo