thank you...update

i really want to thank all of you of you for your support and kind words. you all have no idea what it means to me. i honestly dont know whats going on at this point. he never left on wed. he didnt sleep at all the night before and he slept all day. when we talked that night he said he was going to go yesterday. wed night he didnt go to sleep that late, but i think what with everything going on and his depression, he just couldnt get himself out of bed yesterday. last night i could tell that there were things on his mind and we talked later on. he doesnt want to go, he wants to try working on things now. i still felt a little distance would do us some good. it was a difficult decision...but i thought we both understood what was going to happen today. well he wound up being up most of the night and was drinking again after telling me he would only have a few. he was much better the last couple of nights and i should have know better what a "few" would be. i really dont know whats going on  now. i did wake him and told him that i wanted him to go today. i also said that i was upset with his drinking. this is a big issue with me and one of the things we really need to work on....something he has agreed on so many times and even last night. i cried as i talked to him this morning. he is back asleep now. i love him, i really do...but things need to change. not overnight...thats not realistic, but something has to start giving. i know damn well, that when i come home later on he will be here even though i told him not to. between being up all night, his depression, and by being upset with whats been going on, i know he wont be able to get himself out of bed. unfortunately this is one of his defenses. when he gets so emotionally worked up, be it anger, hurt, depression, etc., his body just shuts down and he sleeps. so i really dont know whats going to be. i really do think some time would be best and technically it was his idea. even if it were for a few nights...i just think that time aprat would be good. we would miss each other like crazy...but i want to do whats best. i just hope that he will make the right decision for once.im still not sure when i will be back to reply to all of you. i have just been so emotionally drained and walking around being one step above a zombie. i guess overall i am ok just really sad. i may stat getting back to you guys later on today or tomorrow. i really do miss you all and love you guys!be back soon.