Thank you!!! Best thing I have done....
I wanted to let everyone know who responded to my first entry - THANK YOU!!! I am taking steps - One Day at a Time to do things for myself and not "obsess" on what my children are doing. I cannot say that I don't miss M - my beautiful granddaughter - because I came across photos today on the computer - and just thought of just the little things her and I would say to each other and our hugs and pinky promises - and belly laughs --- I haven't seen her in 2 weeks and I am accepting that this is on them.
Someone mentioned walking on egg shells - and that is EXACTLY how I would feel when I would go over, since they rarely visit me. I felt "at their mercy" to "behave" and I wasn't even doing anything wrong. I was reflecting on what my son had said and I must say he is WRONG. I am NOT an overbearing grandmother - I am a loving, strong individual, who misses her granddaughter like crazy, but I know, through prayer and listening to God, my Higher Power - I will get through this. I know the bond that M and I have is so strong - she will not forget me. I would call her my "little pumpkin pie" and she would say it back to me - I taught her how to say her prayers at night - she won't forget that - she will figure it out when she get's older.
I'm not calling, texting or asking to see her. I will let them come to me and enjoy the time I can spend with M.
I am focusing more on my job and meeting friends this weekend. I'm going to go to the library and try to find a group I can volunteer.
If I can beat the addiction of alcohol I know THIS will not take me down - AND the support that pours out with this website has been absolutely phenomenal. Thank you again -to each and everyone one of you.
I'm still maneuvering around the sight so be patient with me and eventually maybe I'll figure out how to answer all of your message!!!!
Someone mentioned walking on egg shells - and that is EXACTLY how I would feel when I would go over, since they rarely visit me. I felt "at their mercy" to "behave" and I wasn't even doing anything wrong. I was reflecting on what my son had said and I must say he is WRONG. I am NOT an overbearing grandmother - I am a loving, strong individual, who misses her granddaughter like crazy, but I know, through prayer and listening to God, my Higher Power - I will get through this. I know the bond that M and I have is so strong - she will not forget me. I would call her my "little pumpkin pie" and she would say it back to me - I taught her how to say her prayers at night - she won't forget that - she will figure it out when she get's older.
I'm not calling, texting or asking to see her. I will let them come to me and enjoy the time I can spend with M.
I am focusing more on my job and meeting friends this weekend. I'm going to go to the library and try to find a group I can volunteer.
If I can beat the addiction of alcohol I know THIS will not take me down - AND the support that pours out with this website has been absolutely phenomenal. Thank you again -to each and everyone one of you.
I'm still maneuvering around the sight so be patient with me and eventually maybe I'll figure out how to answer all of your message!!!!
Replies
This weekend I got to see my granddaughter - of course my DIL text me Friday and asked if I would like Maggie to come over Saturday morning (my son working midnights and comes home and sleeps and DIL goes running, shopping, whatever) so that is my quality time with Maggie - of course, yes, on their terms - she was there from 9:30 to 2PM ==We had a wonderful, fun filled, loving time. When she was leaving - she gave me kisses - getting in the car she ran back and gave me the biggest longest hug and 2 kisses- as if she knew it would be awhile until she saw me again. So awesome, yet heartbreaking.
I know the week will go on and I probably won\'t hear anything- I\'m not allowed to ASK if I can stop to visit or call because my son says I\'m annoying. My daughter is on board with them also. My mom is sick with COPD and struggling with breathing = my DIL called me this morning and said her and my daughter had stopped at my moms\' this am and said = Grandma ( my mom) sounds horrible - she was crying when we stopped this morning and struggling for breath but refused to go to ER - maybe you should call her, which I planned on going over today anyway - and you can convince her to go to ER. I called my mom immediately - she said everything just hit her i.e. her health, she may have to quit her part time job and upset the way the kids treat me. She said she just need a good cry. My DIL told me keep her posted. When I was at my moms\' DIL called my mom to check on her and my mom told her I was there. I text DIL around 8PM and said I was at grams when you called. She was ok. She told me she needed a good cry is upset with all the family issues. She\'s going to dr tomorrow. DIL answered me back - text - Well how does she know about family issues? I don\'t talk to her about it. I said I know you don\'t talk to her or I about things - And she\'s upset about maybe not going back to work.
This is what DIL does - hides behind text - no one will sit down and have a discussion i.e. my daughter - son or DIL - they hide behind texts.
Now Easter\'s coming and they will spend it with my ex and DIL family - and probably stop at my mom\'s == If I ask- I\'m asking too many questions too soon etc. Easter is not far away - it\'s called planning - but I\'m beside myself on how to handle it....I WANT to see my granddaughter on Easter - have an Easter egg hunt - just don\'t know how to even handle it anymore. I hate the holidays and this is the time I should be enjoying them with my family and granddaughter-- just lost.