Thank you angel friends :) Getting my inner peace back today with a normal day.

Hi angel friends, good morning, and thank you :) i just wanted to post an early journal update here. i'm gonna be writing as the day goes on, and will post a normal evening journal, with lots of pictures of my halloween town :) i wanted to update everyone, and to thank you all, for your comforting care, and support, in the journal i posted yesterday evening, your hugs, messages, and support, is very comforting, and giving me a lot of hope and strength :) 

Beginning this fresh, peaceful new day here, with some simple joys, and one of my favorite joys, some DS time :) i got a good night's sleep, last night, and i'm feeling like today's a day to get my inner peace back. There was no ghost hunters party last night, like usual, on a wednesday night, but there was a talk. i asked Holly to join me here on the couch, for a one on one, talk about things, and i felt it would be best, to have a one on one talk, to  lay everything out on the table, because i felt it was necessary, and also all of your heart-felt comments, words of support and encouragement gave me strength, hope, and motivation to talk with her about things. it's good to have one of these one on one talks, from time to time. i wanted to set straight, some boundaries, to let Holly know, that first and foremost, she'll always have my support, my family's support, friend's support, for anything, as  we all care, and i wanted her to hear those words. i mentioned to her, that these arguments/squabbles, that can easily be taken care of, in 30 minutes or less, don't need to drag on all day, with numerous hours of talking about things, re-hashing things, it's just, not healthy, and i told her straight up, i will not, and won't, participate, in anymore arguments/fights. i know there's disagreements, and sometimes, it seems that Holly and i need to reassure eachother, and to explain our sides of the story, which can take so long, when it shouldn't. i'm absolutely done, with those long, drawn out arguments, and explanations. i made it very clear to Holly, that at no time, should she ever think, that i don't believe her, or believe in her, and that she, herself needs to work on that insecurity, and of course, she has my support, but i won't take a chunk, or chunks of my days, to reassure her that, when she can remind herself, of how well she has it here, and how we all are very supportive, we appreciate her, and she needs to take time, to remember, no one is out, to get her, to make her embarrased, or anything. we all love her, and care, and that she can no longer, make it out to be a guilt trip, that lasts all day sometimes. She knows, we all care very much about her feelings :)

There will be, no arguing, no yelling, no over-loudly speaking. i layed out a very nice solution for her and us, for example, i said, if there's something that needs to be discussed, we can both, sit here on the couch, a foot apart, and discuss it clearly, and that we can keep our voices to a hearing/understanding level. that was very big for me, as she will often speak over me, in these incidents. i don't want that happening, and i want us both, to be able to talk. the incidents, are far and in between, but have been enough this year, to the point where i've had to talk with my mom, or friends about things. i'm usually a private type of person, i keep things to myself. Holly and i did have a really good talk last night, it was much  needed. i think she understands more now, that i have absolutely, no time in my days, for these types of arguments, that drag on all day, or for hours. it's absolutely uncessary, and avoidable. i'm not into confrontations ,i avoid them very much, and i am a peaceful person. i also wanted Holly to know, that I, myself, am not responsible, for anything in the past that happened between her, and her family, and that if anytime, something comes up, she needs to talk about, she has my support, and i know there's these times, when people have had rough pasts, and there's words that can bring up memories, or reminders, and that i know things Holly's been through, in the past, but in no way ,will i take any blame, or take on a guilt trip, due to what she and her family had go on in the past. i am supportive, a good listener. i'm very kind, polite, respectful, helpful, and Holly knows that, and i want her to work hard on herself, to reassure herself, that the times she struggles emotionally, i'm there for her, i just want her to remember, how i'm very good to her, and that she needs to keep balanced herself, with her artwork, or  reading, or coloring, things that bring her peace. She has things she does in her days, i have things i do in my days, and for something like yesterday, about me not being able to carve a very complicated pumpkin design, it had no right, and no reason, to make the day, a ruined one. i think she understands more now, of a boundaries, that are good, healthy. i told Holly, when she came here to live with us, she still had her eating disorder, and at family gatherings, not once, did i push her to eat any foods, she didn't want, and if i asked her if she wanted something,and she said no, i didn't push, for her to eat, i supported her, and gave her great support, through that and she got much better :) i think and believe, she can get much better, with keeping her emotions in check, and realizing, i'm a very laid back, relaxed person, nature, writings, halloween town this month, and movies, shows, and hanging out, i'm very easy to be around. i do wish i had written sooner, about things/times that weren't as smooth of days as i would have liked, but i'm very thankful i wrote yesterday, and here in my journal today :)

i'm feeling more  hopeful, after all of your support, and after a really good talk with Holly last night, that was much needed. today, i made a list, and it's a list i want to circle everything on, because it's like a map to a  good day. from my writing time, to phone calls, enjoying my halloween town, and baking pumpkin seeds, and getting ready for baking friday. i'm keeping to myself today, lots of writing time, to heal, from the stress i endured yesterday, very unfairly. i'm only one person ,but i love to give effort and energy of 3 people, hehe :) it's how i roll with my days :) 

my goals for today are, writings,  DS time, enjoying my halloween town, i really want my hours back from yesterday, that i feel were unfairly taken from me. i wanna kinda do, 2 days in 1, type of journal later, and i know i can't get 48 hours, but today is a new day,and it can be a good one. i'm gonna post, about 18 pictures of my halloween town, with a double feature in my journal this evening :) i feel it's good for my heart, and my inner peace, to have a normal day today, it's all i want, and i can make it a normal day, by just doing what i normally do. i want to plan a fun, all hallow's eve baking friday adventure for the kids and us all tomorrow too :) Holly's a good  person, and we all care about her. she made a paper note/sign for the hutch, and she wrote on it, "i know Chris believes in me, and believes me, and i'm gonna be chill" :) awww! :) i think she knows, i'm all for goodness, and our strong connection, like we always say, 2 acorns that stick together :) we just need a new day, and days ahead, to get ourselves rollin again, with some spirited times to share, with all of the love of our hearts :)

Thank you all again, our dear angel friends :) Love you all bunches! :) i hope today is a really good, and peaceful day for us all :) i look forward to sending out hugs, messages, reading journals, emails, and also enjoying the glow of my halloween town :) only 2 days until halloween :) gonna enjoy it to the fullest :) Wishing everyone, a day of comfort, peace, and simple joys that brings your hearts smiles :) 

-never lose hope :) 

Big journal this evening, with lots of halloween town pictures and a picture of a cool new halloween card we recieved :)