Thank God Monday is Over!
Ugh, another flat day. I don't know ifit is the weather or my hormones!
We had a great weekend away and I really enjoyed spending time with the husband, it made me remember why I love him so much. It was nice to pretend that we weren't trying and struggling to conceive and just pretend to be a young newly married couple enjoying a special weekend away with each other.
Tomorrow is going to be a really trying day for me. I am going to be stuck with a colleague with whom I used to share a friendship. She is also my line manager and, quite frankly shafted me pretty badly regarding a work issue. Obviously, anyone reading this only has my side of the story to go by and am sure will appreciate that this is fairly biased. So we went from both looking forward to working together on a weekly basis-even socialising outside of work with her husband and child....to no longer being able to make eye contact. This has been going on for months and I really feel like it has started damaging my work performance as a result. I feel excluded from our close knit work team and don't know what to do about it. To make matters even worse, she is pregnant. She knew that we had been trying and having trouble so this make things even more awkward...I always get the feeling around her that my inability to conceive is somewhat contagious, therefore, she mustn't be in close proximity at any stage. (seriously, this is how she behaves!)What makes it even more awkward is the fact that tomorrow, we are working with radioactive patients. And because she is pregnant, the focus has to be on protecting her from the patients... I have to be exposed all day to the radiation because my body isn't as valuable as hers. Yes, I know that is an awful and incredibly selfish thing for me to say but it is how I feel. Ugh, it makes me so sad thinking about it-like the constnat reminder that my body is a failure.
Anyway, enough wallowing in self pity, because really, that is all it is. Dwelling on such negativity isn't going to help my cause at all.
So, I am going to instead focus on some positives for today:
1. I am grateful for the fact that I have a roof over my head to protect me from this horrible weather!
2. I am thankful for wonderful authors and the power of books. They can transfer you to another word...
3. I am grateful for the fact that we have enough money to be able to go away and experience new things...I know that not every body can afford to spend a night away in a lovely hotel and see an amazing show...so for that, I am truly grateful.
Ok peeps, if anyone is reading this, please send me some good vibes through the ether.. for tomorrow-God knows I am going to need it!
We had a great weekend away and I really enjoyed spending time with the husband, it made me remember why I love him so much. It was nice to pretend that we weren't trying and struggling to conceive and just pretend to be a young newly married couple enjoying a special weekend away with each other.
Tomorrow is going to be a really trying day for me. I am going to be stuck with a colleague with whom I used to share a friendship. She is also my line manager and, quite frankly shafted me pretty badly regarding a work issue. Obviously, anyone reading this only has my side of the story to go by and am sure will appreciate that this is fairly biased. So we went from both looking forward to working together on a weekly basis-even socialising outside of work with her husband and child....to no longer being able to make eye contact. This has been going on for months and I really feel like it has started damaging my work performance as a result. I feel excluded from our close knit work team and don't know what to do about it. To make matters even worse, she is pregnant. She knew that we had been trying and having trouble so this make things even more awkward...I always get the feeling around her that my inability to conceive is somewhat contagious, therefore, she mustn't be in close proximity at any stage. (seriously, this is how she behaves!)What makes it even more awkward is the fact that tomorrow, we are working with radioactive patients. And because she is pregnant, the focus has to be on protecting her from the patients... I have to be exposed all day to the radiation because my body isn't as valuable as hers. Yes, I know that is an awful and incredibly selfish thing for me to say but it is how I feel. Ugh, it makes me so sad thinking about it-like the constnat reminder that my body is a failure.
Anyway, enough wallowing in self pity, because really, that is all it is. Dwelling on such negativity isn't going to help my cause at all.
So, I am going to instead focus on some positives for today:
1. I am grateful for the fact that I have a roof over my head to protect me from this horrible weather!
2. I am thankful for wonderful authors and the power of books. They can transfer you to another word...
3. I am grateful for the fact that we have enough money to be able to go away and experience new things...I know that not every body can afford to spend a night away in a lovely hotel and see an amazing show...so for that, I am truly grateful.
Ok peeps, if anyone is reading this, please send me some good vibes through the ether.. for tomorrow-God knows I am going to need it!
Replies
Good luck tomorrow! That does not sound fun at all! Take it an hour at a time and before you know it the day will be over!
Good for you for getting a weekend away! I think it\'s really important to keep up with the gratitude lists. It really puts things in perspective. Tomorrow, kill her with kindness. Hopefully the day will go by fast. Hugs!
I agree with lil, kill her with kindness. You\'re a rockstar & you can do this! I hope you have a great day tomorrow. Try to hang in there. You can vent to us when you get home. :-)
Thanks ladies. She is ignoring me at the moment. Feeling really rubbish.about it all. Going to confront her...wish me luck