Testing My Limits

Geo has this obsession of getting me to test my limits. He wants to see me go manic, make me hallucinate, stuff like that. So last night he and I watched a horror movie and I had to close my eyes for some stuff, but I made it through. I went to bed right after and he and I were just talking in bed till I fell asleep. He wanted to be there if I needed him. I think I am going to play mind games with him... He wants me to test my limits, and there was this show I was watching a couple of years ago and there was this one scene that made me have a total breakdown. I was sobbing and sobbing. He said that I shouldn't watch that show anymore, but I liked the show, it was just that one scene (and the scene was just a one time thing) so I'm going to tell him that I want to watch that show to see how far I can go. I don't know how he is going to react. It was his idea in the first place (to push myself). 
Other that that, I've been mood swinging a lot. We went out to dinner last night and I was going from picking at my food to eating a ton and then back to just playing with my food. I'm amazed I didn't gain weight today... last night I had a spinach pie, soda, an apple fritter and a chocolate doughnut. I keep sabotaging myself every time I get near 222. I'm going to give my ATM card to Geo so I don't use it. He won't use it. He has more money than I do, anyway. I'm going to start volunteering on  Tuesdays and Thursdays around 11 am and help out my boss. She had me work from home yesterday since I needed to do some work on the computer and there were none I could use. I told her I had a laptop and she was happy. I'm going to be bringing it with me so I can help her. Wow, this turned out to be a long journal.... I keep saying that I'm going to update more, then depression hits and I don't care. That's the time when I really should be journaling. Maybe have Geo ask me before I go to bed if I have done one. I have a smartphone so sometimes I update from that. Things are getting back to normal.