Test results are back

Pregnancy Thrombophilia. Blood clots. My head is spinning. Why did she have to call when i was on my way to go shopping and i had my makeup and hair all done? now i look like a spotty raccoon having a bad hair day.
But i know. Everyone is saying "at least now you know" and my boyfriend said hes happy to at least have a reason. But you guys understand. It doesn't make the guilt easier. I can't seem to understand why my body would let a blood clot into the umbilical cord. Isn't there a real small barrier there thats even too small for blood cells to get in? I was reading that in class that that is why mothers and childs DNA don't ever mix. How could a blood clot get in?
And why didn't they test beforehand? they could have saved so many of our babies by just testing ahead of time. Its a simple little blood test that could save millions of lives.
I don't know if i'm happy or not. I don't feel happy. And it just made me terrified even more to get pregnant again. CIgarette break!!
Well i still have errands to run.