Terrified of Severe Mid Back 24/7 bedbound

My emotins are starting to go all over the place.  I was up this afternoon when I found out I could sign up for this new PPO, ACA health plan that covers, well, probably everyone and everything on meds on my list.  Yipee i said.  6 hours later, pain, boredom from being bedbound, I start to realize, maybe these are the tarlov cysts pressing on the nerve and they've grown to a point where they are impossibly painful.  From T6-T8  ...that's how big they were last I checked several years ago now.  I am having a hard time breathing it's so painful.  My ribs are totally swollen and inflamed causing the breathing probs too.  Never had this ever this bad with unrelenting pain.  I cannot do anything to assist.  no hot bath, no ice pack, no nerve med, no muscle relaxer only total sedation with high dose pain medication that makes me think it isn't there and fogs my brain and makes me depressed.  I feel more alive than i have since my trip.  I ignored the warning signs on my trip.  granted i rested and iced and heat all the way, with meds.  but that injury screwed me guys. totally screwed me.  i've been on 750mcg belbuca.  highest dose is 1000mcg.  thats no way to live.

in a way, i'm grateful for this string of events leading me here to face the facts and possibly change the sources of the problem.  on the other hand, i realized, oh bleeeep, if this is tarlov cyst, every spine surgeon in austin texas that i was referred to wouldn't touch it.  the brightest guy said, you're not disabled enough.  the most skilled surgeon said, you have a 50/50 chance of being paralyzed since it's right on the branch of the major nerve center going to the shoulders, and i don't like those odds.  i won't do it.  you have a higher risk of being paralyzed than fixing it.  case over, case closed.  and so i went along my business forgetting about it until now.

at first thought, i thought for sure it is the scheurmanns disease and kyphosis from a compound fracture 30 years ago because of my symptoms.  feels like my mid back has collapsed upon itself, radiating pain around middle so bad i'm having trouble breathing, etc.  if it's both, i'm really bleeped.  but, at least with kyphosis you can fix it.  possibly not so with this tarlov cyst where it's at.

i kept a dallas surgeon's info and he is still practicing.  even more more skilled.  but even he only talks about low back tarlov cysts.  what if noone will operate.  what if i will have to be highly medicated the rest of my life and end up in a wheelchair.  right now, 

I 

AM

TERRIFIED