terribly shaken
Terribly shaken knowing that the world needs more than I can give. Not that this is a new concept, but often a hard one to accept for me. I hate that gut wrenching feeling knowing that there are starving children all over the world. I'm hungry for more in life...there has to be more....Tragedy....seems to be just around the corner. Reasons of explanation are only pitiful and usually unanswered. I feel helpless and I'm to blame. I know I'm in school to be a nurse to make a difference but the wait is INCREDIBLY challenging! I want to serve NOW! I want to get on my hands and knees DAILY and serve people and change the world. I don't just mean sacrificing my time...I mean pouring out my heart full of passion for so many situations and different places around the world! I want not just to be a face but a heart that people remember. I know I'm incredibly guilty for getting wrapped up in daily life to challenge myself to live up to my heart. Too many things are holding me back from leaving Maryland to travel and serve but I'm really starting to wonder if it is really worth staying. Leaving and going to foreign countries with diseases and EXTREME poverty would change me forever but would mean a lot of sacrifice. Sacrifice of school, friends, family, time, work, my patients that mean the WORLD to me. Reality...I know it will change me forever. I hope the day will come when I can be a volunteer nurse and travel and help assist in surgeries in poor countries and build hospitals! Too many ambitions...so little time.
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