Terrible morning.
Today has been a bad day so far. This morning has been terrible for me. I woke up in a pretty crappy mood.
My mom, sister, step dad and son went out. But before they left, i had a nervous break down. I started screaming and yelling for all of them to go away. I'm glad they're gone right now, but i wish my son was still here. I had a hard time with him this morning. He wouldnt go me a hug because he really wanted to go outside again because my stupid step dad let him outside while he was putting the car seat in the car. And my mom brought him back inside to see me, and he was screaming and crying because he wanted to go outside. It made me feel bad. All i wanted to do was give him a hug and say bye to him before he went with them. I broke down and cried, and when i cried he cried even more and it made me feel so bad. It didnt help that my sister was in the room and i got into it with her and almost yelled out about the sexual abuse that she did to me. I screamed for her to get out and get away from me... I can't stand her. I felt bad for my son because he had to see me yell and scream at her and thats really not fare to him. He doesnt deserve to see me yelling and screaming at anyone. I was wrong to do that in front of him. But i just couldnt hold the anger in. I hate my sister so much.
When she left to go outside, i was about to yell at my mom about what she did, instead i just said i hate that b*tch, she was mean to me my whole f*cking life!! Because she was and still is. I don't even remember her being genuinely nice to me at all. Unless there was something she wanted from me. She's always been that way, shes a taker not a giver.
So i finally had a chance to say bye to my son and i got a bunch of hugs from him and that made me feel a it better. But when he had to get in his car seat i was so upset that he had to go with them that i walked off crying and slammed the door to the apartment. I felt like a piece of my heart had my ripped out. I love my son very much and i hate that my mom has to take care of him. Its not fair. I should be the one taking care of him. :(
My mom, sister, step dad and son went out. But before they left, i had a nervous break down. I started screaming and yelling for all of them to go away. I'm glad they're gone right now, but i wish my son was still here. I had a hard time with him this morning. He wouldnt go me a hug because he really wanted to go outside again because my stupid step dad let him outside while he was putting the car seat in the car. And my mom brought him back inside to see me, and he was screaming and crying because he wanted to go outside. It made me feel bad. All i wanted to do was give him a hug and say bye to him before he went with them. I broke down and cried, and when i cried he cried even more and it made me feel so bad. It didnt help that my sister was in the room and i got into it with her and almost yelled out about the sexual abuse that she did to me. I screamed for her to get out and get away from me... I can't stand her. I felt bad for my son because he had to see me yell and scream at her and thats really not fare to him. He doesnt deserve to see me yelling and screaming at anyone. I was wrong to do that in front of him. But i just couldnt hold the anger in. I hate my sister so much.
When she left to go outside, i was about to yell at my mom about what she did, instead i just said i hate that b*tch, she was mean to me my whole f*cking life!! Because she was and still is. I don't even remember her being genuinely nice to me at all. Unless there was something she wanted from me. She's always been that way, shes a taker not a giver.
So i finally had a chance to say bye to my son and i got a bunch of hugs from him and that made me feel a it better. But when he had to get in his car seat i was so upset that he had to go with them that i walked off crying and slammed the door to the apartment. I felt like a piece of my heart had my ripped out. I love my son very much and i hate that my mom has to take care of him. Its not fair. I should be the one taking care of him. :(
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