TEN YEARS LATER
Was ten years ago I "lost", practically gave away, the family house; 3 floors, 3 bedrooms for "under" $10,000; weeks prior I had talked to the neighbor about an arrangement in which he would buy the place and let me live there rent free for a year/whatever, for...that price----then water shooted out from the kitchen sink, and minutes later a devestated me absent-mindedly asked that for selling price.
Didn't help that a year prior my mom died in the hospital, from operations I idiotically let doctors perform, and then I wound up on bad psych medication, with an allegedly worthless case worker, and attending the local drop-in around the most hateful bunch of lowlifes ever.
The neighbor I agreed to sell the house to expected me to pay for another tank of heating oil---after he went through the new oil I bought day of pipe accident. And he wound up gutting the inside, maybe for spite. He's dead, with his survivors stuck with an even worse eyesore to try to unload.
My lowlife parents never bothered to fix this house---though I estimated, a couple years ago, that they drank/wasted/gave away maybe one hundred thousand dollars! over a ten year period! My worthless dad had a good paying job---but he spent about 12 hours every Saturday in bars, and my evil mom bought new furniture at least once a year. My lowlife parents didn't like one another, or me, so that was probably another reason they didn't turn the lousy house into a nice home. Idiot-me grew up thinking we were just naturally dirt poor---though I probably just plain turned my brain off cause of all the craziness.
Ten years later, I'm living just a few blocks away from the house. I've survived this long, somehow, though at age 54, don't know how much longer, so, what the heck, I wrote this to get it out my system.
(photos inclosed)
Didn't help that a year prior my mom died in the hospital, from operations I idiotically let doctors perform, and then I wound up on bad psych medication, with an allegedly worthless case worker, and attending the local drop-in around the most hateful bunch of lowlifes ever.
The neighbor I agreed to sell the house to expected me to pay for another tank of heating oil---after he went through the new oil I bought day of pipe accident. And he wound up gutting the inside, maybe for spite. He's dead, with his survivors stuck with an even worse eyesore to try to unload.
My lowlife parents never bothered to fix this house---though I estimated, a couple years ago, that they drank/wasted/gave away maybe one hundred thousand dollars! over a ten year period! My worthless dad had a good paying job---but he spent about 12 hours every Saturday in bars, and my evil mom bought new furniture at least once a year. My lowlife parents didn't like one another, or me, so that was probably another reason they didn't turn the lousy house into a nice home. Idiot-me grew up thinking we were just naturally dirt poor---though I probably just plain turned my brain off cause of all the craziness.
Ten years later, I'm living just a few blocks away from the house. I've survived this long, somehow, though at age 54, don't know how much longer, so, what the heck, I wrote this to get it out my system.
(photos inclosed)
Replies
I know. Im frustrated that my parents did not make better choices to protect our future too and now I am stuck helping them pay thier bills
But whats done is done. Can you move away and start over somewhere else? Must be tough living so close to the scene of the crome!.
I\'ve spent most of my life living in the future, or the past; despite an eternal malaise, I somehow hope for a better future---just yesterday I got a notice that I\'m on a waiting list for public housing, 30 miles away. How car-less and broke me to do that is kinda funny, along with the 3 to 5 year waiting list.
(I only reveal this stuff, finally, cause I feel that I have one foot in the grave, and want my side of all this secret (?) stuff out before I do \"go.\")
Hey, what do you mean one foot in the grave? Yeah, your parents sound awful, just awful. You didnt ask for or deserve that! Can you be nice to yourself? I know things look hopeless. My life is a lot worse than it appears on here. One foot from foreclosure over a beat up house. I have always admired how you keep going, the biking, caring so well for your cats, and keeping your place clean! You never know, you may be someones hero!
Thank you, Dawn/SnailAway, though it has taken about an hour to respond to your kind thoughts; not something I\'m used to.
And, ya know, back in high school, and again maybe 20 years ago, I had teens say to me, \"will you be my hero\"---and it wasn\'t meant as a compliment. :)
;)