Ten months later, I think of you all the time

I love you Joe, its just over ten months and I have many mornings where I wake up in the same panic that you are not there for me. I am sure it is because I no longer get out to a job the way I did when I was with you. After my disability you were always there to greet me every morning telling me how I should embrace retirement and be happy that I did not have to go out in the cold and heat all the time.
We are going to be first time grandparents Joe!!!! Crystal said I didnt react when they told me about the baby, but I remember her saying the words and I felt like I left my body and was somewhere else. I thought of this wonderful moment and you were not there to share it. I feel guilty that my mind did nto focus on what they were saying. I will have to tell her and explain. It is so exciting now and i saw the first sonogram. Our grandchild is growing to the size of an olive today lol.....she tells me each week what size the baby is. I will be watching the babe everyday while they work as we had talked about when you were here. Boy would you be pissed that you would have been tied down every single day!!! I can hear you now but you would have mellowed out I am sure...or just went upstate yourself and left me with our grandbaby.
Keep watching over them, me and the new baby from above. Keep the little one safe if you can. My life is so sad without you. I love you past eternity...ME~