Ten months
Today is ten months since my daughter left this earth! I went to the cemetery to place a shamrock beads for st Pats day . I cried and I screamed and told her that I wished she could get up and go home with me. I told her that 10 months ago too. This gaping hole in my heart and soul is not getting smaller. I will never stop asking why , why, why
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I respectfully suggest that you need to find a certified grief counselor, someone who is also spiritual (not some atheist or agnostic). It might take some time to find a good match or you might be blessed and find just the right one, as I did. The gaping hole will never get smaller but you will stop asking why, why, why in time and you will gain strength, find your purpose, begin to understand some of what happened. The question \"why\" was ANSWERED FOR ME. That might not happen for everyone but it IS possible. Don\'t do this alone, you can\'t get stuck in this place, your daughter doesn\'t want that to happen to you. Whatever your faith, turn to God, He is real, this life is NOT ALL THERE IS.
jill
I do rely on God that is how I survive. That and keeping busy and the other kids and friends.
I don\'t think I will get the answer to WHY or accept the loss this side of My grave.
I wish I could package up and send to you the man/retired pastor/counselor who was so very vital to me in the early part of my tragedy. He is a gentle soul who has counseled people with mental issues especially suicidal people....he explained so much to me about the brain and how is can be sick and what happens....he also explained the grace of God to me. I thought I knew all about that being a Christian for much of my life...but really, I never did until this happened. I now know about it more than ever. We will always have questions and we will never be able to be fully at peace until that day when we are reunited but until then....we can turn to each other and those who have lost their children for support. Some days I lean much heavier than others....this weekend has been just that. I pray you will be able to lean too and feel the love and support. God bless you...love, dale..brandon\'s mom
I screamed, I cried, I banged on the floor,,I still ask why, I think I will always ask why. I do not see a counselor, I believe but I question God. We all go about it different, I also take no meds but I do have my husband, son and very good close friends that helped, I remember screaming and crying and my son would come and hold me and cry with me. I\'ve also come here and chatted with moms when I was so distraught. Being here among moms was one saving grace for me.
Why is the question we want answered most. I wonder if it would change how we felt if we knew? I\'m so sorry for your pain. It takes so long to get to that place where you stop asking. It\'s been almost five years since I lost my son. Occasionally I will still ask but I know that death is on it\'s own time line and this is one of the most difficult trials in life. Thank goodness we don\'t have to do it alone. Please continue to journal and let the wonderful mothers on this site help you along this path. Prayers for peace and comfort. Robin
You will never get an answer...at least I never have and it\'s been amost 4 years... why did any of our beautiful children leave us, why did Jenn get cancer, why didn\'t the treatments work?
Hugs to you dear friend
marylou
Bless you friend...I know how hard it is...it is the absolute worst sorrow a mother can ever experience. I know that these 10 months seem like an eternity...or then like yesterday. There is no sense in the passing of our children...no answer to the question why...there is so much to process. I wish with all my heart that I could ease this journey for you...take each day as it comes, a moment at a time. Love and hugs...Karen
I am so sorry. having not been through what you are going through I can offer no advice. You have every right to feel as you do and to get it out any way you need to. Both of my brothers lost their sons and it was horrible to watch their pain. Big hugs!!!!