Temperature boiling

I feel very upset.  I screamed at a guy on the phone now and then I called him back and apologized.  They are laying parket flooring in our rooms and the guy was screweing around so I screamed at him.  I realized that it was wrong and I apologized.  I became so overwhelmed.  I became so out of breath and my head was so dizzy and congested.  I started seeing stars and just anxious and angry.  It was a bad experience.
Something came out of it. I was feeling that maybe I can scream at my dad this way.  Maybe I won't be suicidal anymore if I scream at him like that.  But I also realized how fruitless it is to scream at someone.  It doesn't take you anywhere.  So what do I do? I feel so self-destructive.  It isn't me who is doing this it is just the anger inside of me.  Maybe it is my physique that has deteriorated and therefore my mind won't think properly.  But that doesn't make any sense. If my mind knows that my physique is not functioning correctly why doesn't it correct itself?
Excercise makes me feel better.  It seems that all the negative juices in my body cease to secreet and I feel better.  I don't know how to feel better.  Why do I have to expend so much energy to feel better.  It sucks. I feel sick and sad.