teeny tiny eventual new apt
yesterday a 15 mile bus ride, with me as only passenger, to a town to fill out forms for new place to live.
Shown a "I'm ok" sign to put on apt door knob every morning before ten...! Have to be at least 55 and disabled to live in the building, but that sign/routine still...something.
Soviet Union type soulless, cinderblock, apartment; half, maybe even a third of size of my present place, considering how I now have 2 closets, a mini-attic, and a kitchen with kitchen table----new kitchen just a hole in the wall, with enough room for two people to stand! No sofa or bedroom cabinets for me, but new place would still be crowded, with my five dollar walmart storage boxes.
And, I'll be abandoning the homeless cats outside my 2nd floor kitchen roof; fed them better food today cause of that. Yesterday was "national cat day", and a cat darted across the street in front of the bus outside the town I visited.
Lots of minuses to new place and town, BUT "a fresh start" as manager of new building said to me. She has to even inspect my present apartment next month, to ok me moving to new place. I might be able to move in January.
I should be glad....
Shown a "I'm ok" sign to put on apt door knob every morning before ten...! Have to be at least 55 and disabled to live in the building, but that sign/routine still...something.
Soviet Union type soulless, cinderblock, apartment; half, maybe even a third of size of my present place, considering how I now have 2 closets, a mini-attic, and a kitchen with kitchen table----new kitchen just a hole in the wall, with enough room for two people to stand! No sofa or bedroom cabinets for me, but new place would still be crowded, with my five dollar walmart storage boxes.
And, I'll be abandoning the homeless cats outside my 2nd floor kitchen roof; fed them better food today cause of that. Yesterday was "national cat day", and a cat darted across the street in front of the bus outside the town I visited.
Lots of minuses to new place and town, BUT "a fresh start" as manager of new building said to me. She has to even inspect my present apartment next month, to ok me moving to new place. I might be able to move in January.
I should be glad....
Replies
Well I gave you a chance to swap lives with me! But it is not possible. I live in physical comfort but in psychological hell. I hope your new place brings you some measure of comfort. My parents are going to live forever. I will NEVER be free. A prison may be golden but it is still a prison
\'Hell is other people\" as the saying goes; Jean paul Sartre\'s play \"No Exit\" has hell only as 3 strangers who hate one another stuck together, for eternity.
If my landlord would show up and yell at me, along with raising my rent some huge amount, it would make my moving a lot easier;)
Took me at least 10 tries to even post this journal; I\'d turn on the computer and then turn it off that quick, for hours on end last night.
Oh Mike. A gilded cage is still a cage even with good company and someone who loves you. I guess deep in my heart I know much of this is of my own making. But I just can\'t seem to break free. I owe the world better.
Every time I try to do something to break the cycle I feel like I am going to faint and vomit. But today is another day for both of us to try to do better my Dear Friend!
the poor canaries my evil mom would buy....she would clean their cage and feed them---BUT otherwise never pay attention to them; the poor birds would all wind up tearing their feathers out, from going crazy.
I hate caging birds worse than any other kind of animal confinement.
More weird shit today. Read a man we used to go riding with died. He was truly one f the finest sweetest people I have ever met.
He also had made megabucks with a successful car repair shop.
He was widowed and had a ton of kids and grandkids.
I went to some of their FB pages to extend condolences.
His death was over 3 days ago and NOT ONE of them even MENTIONED it!
So were they fighting over his money while he was on his death bed?
Or maybe they found out he left it all to his horse? LOL!
Ant now for weird number two. Just got a call from Hospice that my dad was getting a new nurse because nurse who was caring for him was no longer with the company!!!!
Hell\'s friggin BELLS!!! I just talked to her day before yesterday and everything seemed fine.
Of course they would not tell me what happened.
I am NOT happy about starting over with someone else at all!
Sorry to be so whiny. I desperately need to get back to living my life.
I have been so down I don\'t want TO DO anything. Starting today I am going to do SOMETHINH out of my current comfort zone. Today it will be to take my Mom shopping.
I\'m sorry to hear about what you are going through---at least I can hide in my apartment, if I want to.
was a few days ago I read about somebody I only seen one time, decades ago, had died---4 years younger than me; # people my age gone....which is another reason for me to want to move; i.e. this apartment will eventually kill me, if I stay here much longer.