tears of the sun
I was reading posts by families of addicts and i read a post and it brought back some very painful memories of how i used to treat my sara. I havent wept so bitterly in months, I think im going to cut myself today.
so that i never forget this is what i wrote in reply to that post:
iv done alot of shit in my life but i dont regret any of it except losing her i remember it like it was yesterday her lying on my shoulder crying quietly she drenched my shirt with her lovely tears god she had beautiful tears salty and pretty so pretty in her big big eyes and they came out in such silence such utter misery conveyed so beautifully
I cant take it anymore im gonna cut myself tonight this is all my fault i should have seen this coming.
I sincerely hope i die tonight and this soap opera comes to an end
but incase i dont die which is the more likely thing cuz well lets face it nobody ever dies from these stupid cuts or atleast im too chicken to cut myself to dead. how fucking pathetic is that i dont even have the balls to kill myself like a man cuz the cutting hurts lol.
for future reference
17 aug 2012 time 9:22
signs:
off divalproate sodium~15 days
the pity partying~3 maybe 4 days
the constantly low mood~about 10 dayssudden interest in all that dark gothic poetry~2 days
looking at her pictures over and over~ 40 minutes
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
injuries:
nothing serious yet update after 24 hours
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ur pathetic shendelzare you soppy mopey little shit pull yourself together man ur the spirit of vengance you cant let these mother fuckers win boy they threw you out and left you for fucking dead but we dont die boy we dont die. ur like that really annoying piece of shit that no matter how many times you try to flush keeps coming back up. yes boy thats what you are ur a piece of shit but ur one heck of a resilient piece of shit. wali khan couldnt kill you, haloperidol couldnt kill you that mental ward couldnt kill you FUCKING YOU couldnt kill you man remember december 2011? remember the OD's? ur invincible man nothing can kill you. you were a dog born and bred on the street. the streets are your home the night your cover and scum your people. remember who you are silkwood always remember who you are. ur an avatar of vengeance.
praise elune
may the moon goddess shine her light upon you and may the stars guide you my friend
Ishnu-dal-dieb
so that i never forget this is what i wrote in reply to that post:
iv done alot of shit in my life but i dont regret any of it except losing her i remember it like it was yesterday her lying on my shoulder crying quietly she drenched my shirt with her lovely tears god she had beautiful tears salty and pretty so pretty in her big big eyes and they came out in such silence such utter misery conveyed so beautifully
I cant take it anymore im gonna cut myself tonight this is all my fault i should have seen this coming.
I sincerely hope i die tonight and this soap opera comes to an end
but incase i dont die which is the more likely thing cuz well lets face it nobody ever dies from these stupid cuts or atleast im too chicken to cut myself to dead. how fucking pathetic is that i dont even have the balls to kill myself like a man cuz the cutting hurts lol.
for future reference
17 aug 2012 time 9:22
signs:
off divalproate sodium~15 days
the pity partying~3 maybe 4 days
the constantly low mood~about 10 dayssudden interest in all that dark gothic poetry~2 days
looking at her pictures over and over~ 40 minutes
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
injuries:
nothing serious yet update after 24 hours
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ur pathetic shendelzare you soppy mopey little shit pull yourself together man ur the spirit of vengance you cant let these mother fuckers win boy they threw you out and left you for fucking dead but we dont die boy we dont die. ur like that really annoying piece of shit that no matter how many times you try to flush keeps coming back up. yes boy thats what you are ur a piece of shit but ur one heck of a resilient piece of shit. wali khan couldnt kill you, haloperidol couldnt kill you that mental ward couldnt kill you FUCKING YOU couldnt kill you man remember december 2011? remember the OD's? ur invincible man nothing can kill you. you were a dog born and bred on the street. the streets are your home the night your cover and scum your people. remember who you are silkwood always remember who you are. ur an avatar of vengeance.
praise elune
may the moon goddess shine her light upon you and may the stars guide you my friend
Ishnu-dal-dieb
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