Tears of a family
When Ken first had problems with his leg before we knew anything, he would call me every day asking questions about how did my pain feel before my knee replacements or how did my back affect pain in my legs. We would talk and try to figure out what could be causing his pain. One thing he had not shared with me was he had resorted to using crutches. I did not know that until we went down to help out and there they were like a big sore thumb. I think that is when I knew what ever was happening was more than jusy a pain from the back although the back can cause horrible pain. After 3 back surgies and a back fusion I know the pain from the back can be horrible.
As i sit there staring at the crutches my mind rebounds and I ask Ken when did you have to start using crutches. Silently I now realize we have to be dealing with more. We found out a few weeks later. Ken had no insurance and as a minister not a lot of income after the big move they had made. Earlier I sent him some money to go to the doctor. Before my money arrived he had decided to see a choirpractor. Who found when he took X-Rays there was something more going on than he can fix and sends him to see a doctor insurance or not, the doctor agrees to see him
Scheduled for surgery, we are told it could be anything from an infection to cancer. No way was any of us was going to think Cancer. We give him kises, say a prayer of protection, Ken is in a good mood as they roll him to the operating room his first ever surgery.
Years before when Ken was around 16 he was admitted to yhe hospital with the doctor saying 50/50 chance as they never did find out what was wrong. He comes through that time and I reflect back to that time a lot. Was that a warning. When Ken was born with weak lungs. I wonder about these things as if somehow they are a part of the big pictue
After about 3 hours the doctor comes out to say he is sorry but it is cancer. We all cry hold each other as the tears flow mixing together the tears of a family mixed together for their loved one who is still in recover and has no ideal what lies ahead when he wakes up.
As i sit there staring at the crutches my mind rebounds and I ask Ken when did you have to start using crutches. Silently I now realize we have to be dealing with more. We found out a few weeks later. Ken had no insurance and as a minister not a lot of income after the big move they had made. Earlier I sent him some money to go to the doctor. Before my money arrived he had decided to see a choirpractor. Who found when he took X-Rays there was something more going on than he can fix and sends him to see a doctor insurance or not, the doctor agrees to see him
Scheduled for surgery, we are told it could be anything from an infection to cancer. No way was any of us was going to think Cancer. We give him kises, say a prayer of protection, Ken is in a good mood as they roll him to the operating room his first ever surgery.
Years before when Ken was around 16 he was admitted to yhe hospital with the doctor saying 50/50 chance as they never did find out what was wrong. He comes through that time and I reflect back to that time a lot. Was that a warning. When Ken was born with weak lungs. I wonder about these things as if somehow they are a part of the big pictue
After about 3 hours the doctor comes out to say he is sorry but it is cancer. We all cry hold each other as the tears flow mixing together the tears of a family mixed together for their loved one who is still in recover and has no ideal what lies ahead when he wakes up.
Replies
Relieving the past is really not that hard on this journal.
Sad, sad story and one I can identify with completely. I will never forget the shock of hearing my Sam had cancer....
((((HUGS))))....Julia
I think even though it hurts to remember it\'s best to talk/journal about the hardships (whatever kind they may be) that our child/children face(d) here at FMO where we can feel another\'s pain and relate, whether in reading a journal or commenting on a journal. We are here and stay here because this is where we feel comfortable in re-living our past. I hope this helps. Your friend, BW
Here is certainly the place to come to relive the memories. It takes those 1st two years for our child\'s death to become a reality to us. And for most of us, no one wants us to talk about it. Then, in time, we need to relive, rethink it again and again, and still, no one wants us to talk about it anymore. Here, we can, among us that understand. Thank you for sharing Ken with us. Hugs, Belinda