Tears
I went to work this morning like any other morning - looking forward to next week being off work due to Thanksgiving. After about 10minutes, a student came in who had fallen. She was just walking and fell, landing on her face, scratching her glasses, chipping a tooth, many abrasions on lip, knees, elbow, fingers. In taking care of all these bumps & bruises, the tears began flowing and I could not stop them. I kept looking @ her and she was just sitting there, anxious, and not understanding how she fell - was it the concrete that might have been uneven or just a middle schooler not paying attention.......anyway this student is special - others don't understand her - she's often very out-spoken, she's loud, demanding, yet has a tender heart for others. She gets worried about her family through the day - another student once told her, her house was burning....she had to call her mom to make sure everything was okay....she loves her family. I have seen this student many times in the health office for various reasons, but none has touched me like it did today.
I kept looking @ her and a still small voice in my heart said - she's an angel - she's like your daughter.....KIND, GIVING, YET A LITTLE DIFFERENT - OTHERS DON'T UNDERSTAND HER - SHE SEES THINGS IN OTHERS, THAT WE DON'T SEE.
As my tears kept flowing, I could not stop them, I looked @ her and said, "You have touched my heart today" - "I'm glad I was here to take care of you" - she smiled and said, I know.
Sisters, a counselor here @ school, said - how special - Jennifer came by and said "hi" to her mom this morning.....SIGH.....
in this month, my thoughts are never off my daughter. The memories are so close @ heart that I can feel them. Oh, Jennifer, how I miss you, how I would have done some things differently, how I wish I would have understood you more, BUT this morning, I got a glimpse of your heart through this student - Thank you!
Tears are flowing again - sending much love and hugs to you today. I just wanted to share with you all because I know you understand.
Vicki
Replies
Oh yes, I understand so very well, Vicky. Those tender moments when we, just for a split second, almost see or experience our angel children in others......... I believe that our children are in fact with us at those precious moments. And then the hurting, the longing, and the tears..........
Warm hugs to you, dear Vicky! xxx
Awwwww Vicki, I think we all know how you feel. I know I have felt those same things. October and November are especially hard for me and often lately I miss my Tony more than ever. I feel him close but neve close enough. It's never enough is it? Hugs SOTH....
Terri
Oh, Vicki, this gives me goose bumps. Who would have thought that you would receive this deeper understanding and awareness around your Jennifer through this student... What a gift this IS and one I know must bring forth so many feelings.
I'm SO very grateful that we can come here to share this kind of happening and that it is held gently and tenderly. Jennifer knew what her mom needed and who better than this earth angel?!
Love to you, Jennifer and that dear student, your earth angel.
XO Joanie
Oh Vicki, what a wonderful, gentle, touching and tear-producing story! Thank you so much for sharing. In your eloquent words I felt the tenderness you shared with the special, unique child. I'm not sure if you're lucky to have her in your world, or she's fortunate to have you. Perhaps both?
<3
Merrilee
How wonderful Vicki! Jennifer indeed did visit. Those moments are so meaningful.
Of course we have times when we wish we had done things differently. Hindsight is 20/20. I have to believe that it was meant to be. Lisa's life work was done.
I was having a pity party yesterday. I was feeling that my lot in life was to learn to live with loss and disappointment. My poor husband felt so bad for me. But today is a better day. I got to spend all evening holding a great granddaughter. Joe held one and I held the other. I thanked Cevyn for having twins so that we both had a baby to hold. Those babies are so absolutely beautiful and Cevyn and Brendan are falling in to the parent roll and are so proud.
Then it occurred to me that I was being totally self centered yesterday. So many moms will never experience the joy of grandchildren, let alone great grandchildren.
No more complaining from me (for now anyway).
Wishing you love and peace and more visits from Jennifer!
Tight hugs, M
Vicki, how touching that Jennifer visited as you tended so lovingly to this student. I am sure Jennifer is close by and so proud of you as you continue to love children despite missing your own daughter.
Since Ed's passing I feel like I connected with some young men that reminded me of Ed. I feel like I can direct some of the love I have for Ed to these other people and maybe on those days they need the love too? Thank you for sharing. I know this is a tender time for you....Love to you and Jennifer, Linda