Talking with the Monster
Today is Thursday....Thursday...one of my "trigger" days....when I never failed to go gambling... Yesterday, one of my employees told me her mother had just won a HUGE jackpot at a local casino....and yes, it made me think about going. I didn't. I called yesterday and found out I have to go there in person to get my win/loss statement I need for my taxes. I received this big comeon from them yesterday for cash, free rooms, etc. Any of these things could be a trigger....gee.....they're giving out BIG money.....I have to go there anyway....Thursday is a day machines are loose...I could just go use the free cash....one of those great rooms would be such a nice getaway....they just put in a great pool and spa .....a free massage would be SO great......I'll just go this once and use my freebies and not go back.... Whisperings of the Monster in my ear...and I'm not going to listen. It wouldn't matter if I won thousands of dollars in a jackpot....I would put it all back and more.I might have to go to get my statement....but I don't have to stay. I can steel myself, walk in, get out.I have lost hundreds to thousands on Thursdays, and every other day...I have never stopped at the free cash....that just gets the addiction going...I could buy a great room somewhere for less money than one night of gambling...and much less than the months of gambling that would follow,,,Ditto for the massage.......I can swim at my gym....If I go once, I will be so ashamed and disheartened....It might be months before I can stop again.My financial, spiritual, emotional recovery will be reversed and erased, eradicated. Shut up, Monster!No Way, No How, No Gambling
Replies
Just for today.... Keep telling yourself......
Die monster, die.
x0x0x0\'s
Tessa
I see that monster doesn\'t just lie to me, great you have the strength not to listen Dianne, just for today I will not gamble
Excellent my friend! I think your monster is getting desperate from starvation.....isn\'t great that the monster gets to feel the desperation now instead of you? Keep on keeping on Dianne...Just for today!
Love, Julie
OMG, you said it so well. Anyone who thinks these \"free comps\" are free are really out of touch with reality. I\'m with you, SHUT UP MONSTER, NO WAY, NO HOW, NO GAMBLING!!!
You slay that MONSTER, Dianne! The so called \"Freebies\" are LIES! Great, big, fat MONSTER LIES! Get in there & get your win/loss statement, and get out! Your strong, you\'re a MONSTER SLAYER! Sending lots of strength & love your way, Robin
what an inspirational talk that has been good job. that monster is really big in my life. i know the fight but you are way better in control than i am, you inspire me that maybe i can do this.. way to go.. hugs
t
Oh Dianne! I am so glad that this time has come when you are so strong in recovery!!! - It\'s a tough situation to be in - in really makes you wonder if there is a conspiracy going on! - You can walk into that place and even if you have to do so with fingers in your ears singing \" nah nah nah nah nah\" - You are strong - the monster is NOT going to win today - freebies smeebies! Just for today I am whispering in you ear all the way - We will not gamble! Hugs and love to my friend in recovery Suzi
Hi Dianne!
Stay strong, you can do it! I \"gave into those casino incentives\" and went to play the \"free money\"...I thought I could be strong and only play \"their money\", but you know what? The \"free $500\" ran out the first hour and I ended up using the mortgage $$ to gamble...the worst part...I lost respect for myself, I \"lost\" my over 100 days gamble-free...I lost my dignity...
Be strong and if you need to, take someone along with you to the casino, get in and out...fast!
I know you are a strong girl, so I have no doubts you will do the right thing and shut that monster voice out!!!
Big Hugs,
Liz
I just had dinner next door to a place where I used to \"play\". It would have been so easy to just step through that door tonight,but I also said \"**** YOU\" to the demons. It would have been disastrous. I know you can get in and out with your dignity in tact. You are so strong, a true inspiration.
WTG girlfriend! That\'s the way to tell them demons a thing or two. MAybe you can take someone with you when you go to give you that extra support. Peace and Love. Patty
What strength you showed to the monster. You won! You doing so great. Have a great weekend. Hugs Melissa
I was reading your journals from january on... your a pretty amazing woman...you have a lot of \"IT\" inside you. Your going to do great.
I wish I could have resisted the Monster... you are an inspiration Dianne.. Thanks for the journal entry
That\'s right girl, stay out forever....don\'t feed the monster....The monkey is off my back and on a heavy chain now....he knows the rules....Dave