Talking with the Monster

Today is Thursday....Thursday...one of my "trigger" days....when I never failed to go gambling... Yesterday, one of my employees told me her mother had just won a HUGE jackpot at a local casino....and yes, it made me think about going.  I didn't. I called yesterday and found out I have to go there in person to get my win/loss statement I need for my taxes. I received this big comeon  from them yesterday for cash, free rooms, etc. Any of these things could be a trigger....gee.....they're giving out BIG money.....I have to go there anyway....Thursday is a day machines are loose...I could just go use the free cash....one of those great rooms would be such a nice getaway....they just put in a great pool and spa .....a free massage would be SO great......I'll just go this once and use my freebies and not go back.... Whisperings of the Monster in my ear...and I'm not going to listen. It wouldn't matter if I won thousands of dollars in a jackpot....I would put it all back and more.I might have to go to get my statement....but I don't have to stay.  I can steel myself, walk in, get out.I have lost hundreds to thousands on Thursdays, and every other day...I have never stopped at the free cash....that just gets the addiction going...I could buy a great room somewhere for less money than one night of gambling...and much less than the months of gambling that would follow,,,Ditto for the massage.......I can swim at my gym....If I go once, I will be so ashamed and disheartened....It might be months before I can stop again.My financial, spiritual, emotional recovery will be reversed and erased, eradicated. Shut up, Monster!No Way, No How, No Gambling