Taking the Present in fully.
Hi DS Family, I am resting as usual and don't feel any guilt or shame... And there isn't anyone on God's earth that could affect me negatively for this condition that I must bear and deal with.... No longer can family or housemates, doctors, so-called friends and otherwise have the power to make me feel bad about myself! Walk a mile in our shoes with CFS and other illnesses we all have and THEN talk down to me about who I or we are!
I am standing my ground and loving myself just as I am right now.. In a crowded room with packed boxes and much to be done while resting most often and doing what I can and when I can without an once of guilt.
I must admit I do feel uncomfortable about my lack of regular showers. It feels like climbing a mountain to take a shower. I give myself what I call bird baths with baby wipes often. I must pray to get into the shower, for the largest organ, the skin needs it more often. There, I admitted my hygiene setbacks. This is the most difficult chore for me and I don't want help but to be pushed into the shower! I can deal with it once I am in it. It's like I am afraid of the water touching my sensitive skin as bazaar as this my sound.
Oh thank God for God or I would be a major basket case by now. I know I may be an enigma to many and that's okay with me. I even feel like an enigma to myself at times... Lol
Now I am just rambling and will get some sleep. This body loves to sleep! Sometimes up to 14 hours and then some. Of course I don't feel rested after sleep. I wake with pain and feeling groggy.
Oh I am rambling again. Just felt like journaling. I am grateful for NOT feeling depressed any longer though.
I LOVE you all dear DS Family.
May you all feel well, as I do pray for all of us
Peace & Gentle Hugs
Debra
I am standing my ground and loving myself just as I am right now.. In a crowded room with packed boxes and much to be done while resting most often and doing what I can and when I can without an once of guilt.
I must admit I do feel uncomfortable about my lack of regular showers. It feels like climbing a mountain to take a shower. I give myself what I call bird baths with baby wipes often. I must pray to get into the shower, for the largest organ, the skin needs it more often. There, I admitted my hygiene setbacks. This is the most difficult chore for me and I don't want help but to be pushed into the shower! I can deal with it once I am in it. It's like I am afraid of the water touching my sensitive skin as bazaar as this my sound.
Oh thank God for God or I would be a major basket case by now. I know I may be an enigma to many and that's okay with me. I even feel like an enigma to myself at times... Lol
Now I am just rambling and will get some sleep. This body loves to sleep! Sometimes up to 14 hours and then some. Of course I don't feel rested after sleep. I wake with pain and feeling groggy.
Oh I am rambling again. Just felt like journaling. I am grateful for NOT feeling depressed any longer though.
I LOVE you all dear DS Family.
May you all feel well, as I do pray for all of us
Peace & Gentle Hugs
Debra
Replies
AMEN! :) u sound empowered, I love it, u take a shower when u feel like, its your body after all...perhaps a plastic stool or chair can help in the shower so u can at least sit, if the water hurts your skin, start as light as possible, I have no idea what u are going through, but I am sending love to u, u r stronger than your pain, u r stronger than anyone who tries to bring u down- u r the mountain and they are just wind, they can blow all they want but can never move you. xoxooxo
It seems as though God has helped you disable your demons!! How wonderful, Debra. You are the victor! One day at a time and with His grace and care you will get by!!!
I have a stool in my shower. I think that showering is probably one of the most difficult things we have to do. Standing up is almost impossible for us sometimes, never mind the heat in the room we\'re in (created by the shower water)! That makes us dizzy. Just getting undressed to get in there is a major chore, and I often feel faint the entire time I\'m there. THEN we have to dry off. HUGE aerobic chore!! No showering is a practical impossibility for us most of the time. Sitting at the sink with a washcloth and towel is often what does me best. Washing my hair often cannot be done during a shower. It\'s all just too much work. SO LET IT GO!! Do what you can, when you can.
I feel some relief from your inner self in reading this journal. Rest as much as you can, dump the guilt. We all understand what you are going through and are here to support you 100%! xox
BIG HUGS!! xo
You go, girl! You are so right! Don\'t let anyone make you feel guilty. Rest as much as you need to. You need to have strength for the important things, the eternal things that matter most. Love you. Heather.
Hey there kindred spirit. I haven\'t made it to my shower today. Hardly any sleep crashed me down today.I do have a white plastic chair in there for the dead body days like today. So I am going in there soon.14hrs sleep sounds heavenly . I\'m sure there is some good healing happening for you while you have those long sleeps.I want to follow in your steps and drop my guilt and shame for being in this debilitated body.You always inspire me.I wish I was fit in body to be there to wait on you.To serve you like a princess.Making healthy natural food for you.Unpacking your boxes for you and decorating your room.Some bright purple orchids and maybe some bright golden yellow flowers too.Golden like the sun.I could play some nice music for you.Maybe some bhajans.I know you like them.Also something beautiful made of pure silk to drape over you. Can you see me there? I would do a silly little swirly dance around your room and we could giggle.I will bring my little Indian brass bell and when you want me to vanish and leave you in peace, all you would have to do is ring the bell.
You are such a gentle giving soul my friend that you always make me feel like being there for you.So I am there with you in heart and spirit while I lay here weak in this body. May all love surround you dear Debra.xoxoxo I\'m off to the waterfall to bathe.