Taking the first step.....
I guess I am moving out of the stuck place where I have been for so many years. I can't belive that I was stuck for that long, but really and truly I just couldn't seem to help myself. But then again my mom has only been out of the picture for a few months and I'm sure that staying in contact with her was one of the issues that kept me so stuck. Thank God Tom (my husband....well actually my x-husband, but we live together) showed me who my mom really was and was able to open my eyes to how much damage she was causing me in my life. I tried for years to get her out of my life but I kept letting her back in because I just didn't have the strength to let her go. That and I would feel guilty and give in. This time I did it wihout guilt and without going back. I was tired of living with all of the drama that comes with having her in my life. That and her constant need to betray everyone she knows, including me. And Tom helped me see that everything she does is self-serving and that she always has her own agenda going on in everything she does. And I fianlly told her the truth----that not only do I not love her, but I don't even like her and I don't like being around her. I asked her nicely this last time to stay out of my life and she actually agreed! I couldn't belive that she would ever agree to do what I ask----but she did. It was a miracle in my life! It makes me think that maybe there really is a God. Anyway, I guess I was going to talk about other things but needed to talk about this first. She has mostly left me alone since the day after my birthday on Nov. 4, 2011. It's also helped me to talk to LeeAnn who lives there with my mom and my brother and find out how much damage they are both doing to LeeAnn. Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm related to these people. I don't ever want to be anything like them and I pray to God that I never am.......
Replies
Well good on you for finally doing that. I feel exactly the same about my mum. But it is\'t just her. It\'s my whole family, My mum is the worst offender. Your mum sounds just like mine. She says she\'s not going to ever let me get out of her life. Well if I don\'t want to have anything to do with her, That\'s my choice. I
would even go so far as to undertake legal proceedings against her if I had to.
Just because her shoulder is sore and just because I made a few mistakes in my life doesn\'t give her the right to make my life miserable because of it. And every time i need help she just walks away and pretends not to hear me. And whenever I tell her that this is what\'s going on here, she just denies it and then goes and says or does the exact thing that she just denied that she does, if you get my meaning.
Even my dad gets annoyed with her sometimes, but he rarely says anything. It\'s no wonder he shouts all the time. She always has something negative to say, and yet she accuses me of being negative. No matter what anybody says or does, it\'s never good enough for her. It always has to absolutely perfect. No mistakes allowed.
She believes that she is the boss of everybody and believes everybody should just drop what they\'re doing for her and wait on her hand and foot, and that people should live their lives according to her exact standards. She is a toxic bitch and I couldn\'t care less right now if she died. She can GO TO HELL!