Taking steps forward!
So moving away from that "pit" last time required facing challenges and facing myself. It's a bit hard to explain it, but here goes.... what it was, was finding out where my fears were, looking at them, facing them, dealing with them, conquering them and moving on to the next. Like being afraid of heights yet taking a hike to the top of one of our peaks. The first time I did it, I actually crawled part of it when a panic attack forced me to stop, sit, breathe - and then I couldn't get back up, so I crawled on my hands and knees (yes I was alone, lol) until I could pull myself up slowly - move forward slowly. Because you can't sit there forever... at some point, you either have to move forward or go back. And going back meant sliding a little backward into that pit. And then the bigger challenge came - part of the trail was a stretch of rocks along a cliff - must have taken me 1/2 hour to get across that 5 minute stretch. But when I reached the top, WOW! And not just the view - but the fact that I DID IT!
And during this process, I learned to discover myself. One of the best things someone ever told me was "how can others like you if you don't like yourself?" And through the process, I not only learned to like myself, but enjoy it! LOTS of WOW moments! And this year alone, I've hiked that peak 5 times.
Ok, so my current challenge. It's silly one, but 30 years went by without hardly doing any of it.... COOKING. I realized this past 6 months that food stresses me out. I'm a fussy eater (not a fan of fruits and vegetables), add a few allergies on top of it, and it really makes going to a friend's for dinner a challenge. Too much of one right now - and I'm such a HORRIBLE cook that I refuse torture my friends by inviting them over to my house for dinner, lol. BUT, I've taken a leap in that direction yesterday...
My best friend said every woman has a fetish - purses, shoes, etc. - something she collects almost obsessively. I collect cookbooks, lol. And in those 30 years never used about 99% of them (I had around 300 - mostly small ones - until the X got about 1/3 of them in the divorce).
So, in an effort to find healthier meals to aid me with my eating program, I pulled them out this week. Specifically the ones regarding chicken. I'm so SICK of chicken. A few of them were VERY interesting though. So I ran to the store, stocked up on spices (didn't have any in the house), and last night jumped in.
ORANGE GINGER CHICKEN BREASTS.
OMG... it turned out SO AWESOME! And only 186 calories!
And I didn't light the oven on fire this time, lol. Yep, a little more practice and I think I'll be ready to entertain some friends!
Next up... learning to like living alone! Which is funny - because I think I already DO like it, just don't feel like I'm alone yet. OMG! I just realized that being alone isn't really being alone - there's friends, my crazy dogs that I caught jumping on the bed the other day, people at my office.... COOL!
Time for my workout - LATER!
And during this process, I learned to discover myself. One of the best things someone ever told me was "how can others like you if you don't like yourself?" And through the process, I not only learned to like myself, but enjoy it! LOTS of WOW moments! And this year alone, I've hiked that peak 5 times.
Ok, so my current challenge. It's silly one, but 30 years went by without hardly doing any of it.... COOKING. I realized this past 6 months that food stresses me out. I'm a fussy eater (not a fan of fruits and vegetables), add a few allergies on top of it, and it really makes going to a friend's for dinner a challenge. Too much of one right now - and I'm such a HORRIBLE cook that I refuse torture my friends by inviting them over to my house for dinner, lol. BUT, I've taken a leap in that direction yesterday...
My best friend said every woman has a fetish - purses, shoes, etc. - something she collects almost obsessively. I collect cookbooks, lol. And in those 30 years never used about 99% of them (I had around 300 - mostly small ones - until the X got about 1/3 of them in the divorce).
So, in an effort to find healthier meals to aid me with my eating program, I pulled them out this week. Specifically the ones regarding chicken. I'm so SICK of chicken. A few of them were VERY interesting though. So I ran to the store, stocked up on spices (didn't have any in the house), and last night jumped in.
ORANGE GINGER CHICKEN BREASTS.
OMG... it turned out SO AWESOME! And only 186 calories!
And I didn't light the oven on fire this time, lol. Yep, a little more practice and I think I'll be ready to entertain some friends!
Next up... learning to like living alone! Which is funny - because I think I already DO like it, just don't feel like I'm alone yet. OMG! I just realized that being alone isn't really being alone - there's friends, my crazy dogs that I caught jumping on the bed the other day, people at my office.... COOL!
Time for my workout - LATER!
Replies
I understand what you are saying. I faced some challenges too. Not about a major depression but the first time I had to back my riding lawnmower out of the horse trailer I was so scared. Like you climbing that peak I had to back up and couldn\'t see the ramp. I walked away from that several times. Walked around the truck and trailer, tried backing up and couldn\'t go over that edge and then knew it was all up to me. I finally backed the mower off the trailer and I was proud of myself. The next year I bought a bigger lawn mower that won\'t fit in my trailer.LOL
You are facing the challenges in your life. Trying things you never liked to do and finding out its not as hard as you thought. Sometimes knowing there is no one else to do things for us gives us the incentive to do those hard things. If you want it bad enough, if it really has to be done we can always find the strength to do the things that scare us and are hard.
It\'s good you are writing this down and in six months, a year you can go back and see how far you have come with these challenges. That now they aren\'t challenges at all and you have moved on to other things in you life. Your orange ginger chicken breast sound great. I can tell you are really going to get into cooking food that is right for you.
Here is an area you and I are soooo similar. I really am an awful cook. I don\'t have as many cook books as you but I have my fair share - especially as someone who does NOT cook! It\'s such a paradox.
I am realizing that in order to live the healthy life I want, raise two healthy boys AND save money I am going to have to cook a lot AND do it in huge batches (to freeze and save for later). What a lot of W-O-R-K. The grocery shopping, the cooking, the clean up, the fumbled try and miss meals... and often this experiment is conducted at the end of the day when I am zonked. Definitely not at my prime. But I am feeling better eating so balanced... got to just stick to it till it gets easier.