Taking it a day at a time

Well, I had my surgery 2 weeks ago today.  I've stayed home like a good little girl.  Today was the first time I drove, been in a car even.  i was going to town to meet my Mom and grocery shop.  My Mom called on my way to tell me she was at the hospital.  She was out on her scooter and went into a store and just started feeling bad.  Her oxygen level was down to 63%.  They did let her go back home though.  She's at the end stage of her COPD, so there's really nothing they can do for her.  But we determined that it's best for her to not get out anymore.  I didn't take my Cymbalta yesterday and wasn't going to take it today, but the more I sat thinking about driving to town, the higher my anxiety got.  So I decided I better go on and take it until I can get something else worked out.  Tuesday it had been a year since we took Robert off life support, so it wasn't a good day.  I've had a lot of bad days lately.  I've been in a really bad place.  In nine days, it will be a year since he passed.  I'm just so dreading this.  I'm so lost.  I don't know what to do.