Taking back control

Well, after a VERY rough night, I have decided its time to take back the control of my situation. Every other aspect of having a baby has been taken away.. IF has stolen my ability to have children naturally, w/o assistance.. But I wont let it rob me of my sanity, my self respect and confidence. I have let this whole process take up the better part of my marriage... we have been trying for eight years.. for as long as we have been married. I have been putting this un-needed stress on my marriage. Why does this need to be such an urgent need? I have to realise that it WILL happen. Everything happens when it is SUPPOSED to happen. Not always when we want it, but when we are really ready for it. Its Gods plan, not mine. So, today I am going to look into finding a RE that is somewhat close to where I live.. so far the closest is two plus hours away. This doesmake me a bit nervous if we have to do an IUI. But, it will work out. I told my husband last night that I want to focus on us again, and our love for eachother. We need to reconnect, and not just on the fertility front. We need to get back to the people we were before we knew anything about IF, or PCOS. Does this mean we are done trying?? NO... This means we are going to try a new route.. Positive thoughts, love in our hearts, and a more light hearted approach. I think its partly my fault for the experience I had yesterday. I just trusted my GP to reffer me to a good OBGYN.. I didnt do any research into him. I went into it blindly. Its time to take control back and decide for myself who will be helping us on our journey. Looking for a new GP, and RE, and feeling good about it.
Thank you so much for your support.. Yesterday and last night was really rough.. a lot of crying and anger. But I feel I am in a better space again. Big hugs! :)

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

So glad you are taking control girl! You\'re a strong woman! I wish you luck hun! You will get pregnant and if you ever need to talk I\'m here! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Awesome! I know how frustrating the journey can be. I shed many tears and yelled a lot out of frustration. I had also trusted my OB to send me to a great RE (his terms). The guy was a joke. Hang in there! I found a great team that helped me bring my dream to reality. You know my DH had to use the public restroom on more than one occasion for a sample. It wasnt easy but you make it work! Then after all of this come to find out they had a \"special\" room that we didnt even know about. So dont worry. Many RE\'s have this for the reason that we sometimes just live too far. Keep pushing thru and fight for your dreams! I had to keep getting up and whipping myself off but look at me now :). ALL of it was so worth it! Also I feel that I have a stronger marriage b/c we went thru this together. My girls have the best daddy b/c we fought together to have them. So in a way IF was a blessing. We dont take a second for granted. Hang in there! xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m sorry you\'ve had such a rough time...but I\'m glad that you\'re continuing on with a positive outlook. It\'s hard...but you seem to have your head and your heart in the right place. -hugs-