Taking a trip

I realize, I have wrote some pretty heavy stuff here in my journal lately.  I have been really down.  I have felt hurt, rejected, alone and I have had some real issues with my wife lately.  I have decided to take a long motorcycle trip to unwind and also to maybe help someone else too.  I want to do this for a number of reasons but, I need time to let my mind settle down and I have a desire in my heart that I feel I must do.  Some may call it crazy, some may not understand and, that's ok too.
I am not suicidal.  I am not dangerous to anyone, or at least I don't see myself as being that way.  I haven't had a vacation since 1985.  I have always put others first.  Now, I feel I need to do something for me.  I need to prove to myself that I have worth, that I can still touch others, still be the real me. 
Many have expressed their concerns for me.  I thank all of you for that.  I have lost so many friends the past 3 years.  I have done so many funerals, I can't count them the past 3 years.  I have spent so many nights in hospital rooms, ICU, ER and I have sat with families and watched their loved one, take their last breath.  I have been with families when life supports have been removed, etc.
All these things take their toll on our emotions.  These memories are filed in a folder in our memory and they began to weigh us down at times.  I am almost on overload.  I have not missed a Sunday in my Pulpit for 4-1/2 years.
I just need to unwind.  I need to see beauty on a different level.  I need to allow some space between me and these stressors.  Due to the issues at home and in my family, they need a break from me.  Not out of animosity on my part but, they need to re-evaluate what merit I have or what place I occupy in this family.  Will this help?  I don't know if it will help them or not but, I feel it will definitely help me.  I need to do this before the weather gets bad or the roads become dangerous to travel.  If I wait any longer, I can't do it this year.
Again, thanks for your concerns for me but, now hopefully you can understand why I posted, a month or so ago, that I was taking a break from DS and this is an extension of that break.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Enjoy your ride Pee Wee . Get those cob webs off/ hey. I love it and you deserve it mate.
deleted_user
deleted_user

The first and main thing I MUST say to you Sweetie is you have NO need to apologize to ANYONE for taking care of yourself!!! Just because your life has been dedicated to the wonderful, selfless work that you do and you are so faithful with it, does not mean that you are still not human yourself and hurt just as badly and actully sometimes more than those you help. It takes the strongest of the strong to do what you do not only professionally but also as an avocation on the side not only here but I believe everywhere and everyone you come into contact with. But if you dont take care of you ESPECIALLY NOW when your mind and body and soul are crying out to you that you need a break you will end up not being able to help ANYONE and the worst one of all helping YOU!! Dont worry, dont apologiize! You of all people know what it means to truly listen to your heart and to take care of yourself mind, body and spirit. I strongly believe this road trip is an urge from the Spirit guiding you to a path that will bring you not only rest and strength but a higher knowledge and experience that you willl bring back with you and Wow!! I just cant wait till your return to see your new stuff! I believe in what God is telling you to do and I believe in you to listen and follow! Dont worry about anyone you are leaving behind, God will take care of your flock while you are gone, trust that and just enjoy your journey wherever it takes you!!! I am sooo excitted for you!
Peace and Love,
Allison
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sounds like ur doing the right thing. Even Jesus rested:) We will pray for God\'s protection and for comfort and a special touch for you.
angeleyes92
angeleyes92

been telling you for a while to take care of yourself. glad you are finally doing it. as with everything, put it in God\'s hands. whatever happens happens. life\'s too short to worry all the time. enjoy the world a bit. stay safe, wear a helmet and take as much time as you need. just remember that the weather can turn quickly these days so pay close attention to that. love and hugs
starbright1949
starbright1949

Listen to all these people, we all love you, and accept you the way you are. Do what angeleyes says so your safe. You can not care for a person like you have in the hospitals, and funeral homes, if you don\'t take care of yourself first. Even our Lord rested, and he was super human. You do the same! Big Hugs~~~Debbie
beaniesgirl
beaniesgirl

Be well, dear friend. Catch us all up on your fantastic voyage when you can!
((HUGS)) Rachel
bgoodwin44
bgoodwin44

Enjoy Your Trip, PLEASE Stay In Touch........OK ?

Love Ya, Barbara
deleted_user
deleted_user

You know how happy I am that you are taking this trip that you so need........ it will do your heart good......... vroom vroom vroom............. love you
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD

I think this is a wonderful thing Peewee.. Im so glad you are recognizing your needs and doing something so positive about them.. chicken soup for the soul.. God will bless you on this trip I have no doubt.. love and a huge hug my friend..x