Swelling, Pain, and a Day in my Journey

Well I spent so much time on the weather and my loosing my mind I forgot to journal the rest of the pain stuff. Yuck. Been trying to replace my written journal with one here, but not remembering very well to update either one. However, it is on the list to do, maybe that will help? Swelling appears down on my feet and legs. Measurement still shows swelling in left ankle and knee, some swelling in both shin? area. However, not very noticable to the eye, feet are looking pretty good. Pitting edema is still in shin area along the bone, worse on left leg than the right. Lots of color changes, from red to purple to blue to pale flesh. Only on constant is that in the shower my feet will change to a redish purple, then finally blue. Kind of weird, the calidascope of colors my arms and legs can do, and how fast that can change! I have been able to keep the swelling down in my legs by elevating them every night up high on 4 pillows. It also keeps me from rolling over on my hands which is a great thing for them, they no longer feel dead or worse on fire when I awake. I have always been a tummy sleeper, curling my arms up around the pillow, and sometimes when I get up early to get the kid off to school and take my morning pills, I go back to sleep on my tummy for a few hours. It conforts me to sleep that way but my whole body hurts worse when I wake up. The last 3 or 4 days I have been getting up, getting my pain pills sit down to the computer and slowly eat my yougurt and morning pills- every morning I have had tears form and stream down my face as I try to focus on the screen of the computer, and not think about how bad it hurts, and how much more it will as I try to limber up the limbs for the day. It's kind of strange, I don't feel sad, or like I am going to cry, just all the sudden the tears are streaming down my face. Don't know what's up with that, but got to stop it! Left arm is still slowly shrinking, having lots of problems using the fingers and extending the arm outward, elbow hurts really bad when I do, using streching exercises to get it back moving, but not having as good of luck with that right now. I'm a little worried I am loosing the battle to keep it mobile.I have been having the problems with small lesions forming on my upper arms mainly, they look really strange. Of course, I find the whole progression of this dysfunction strange, difficult to understand and at time terrifying.  I never know how I will wake up, okay, in some pain, or in hell. I think that's in part why I have so much trouble falling asleep, I loose control of how I am handling the pain and have to start over again each morning. Seems like there is so much types of pain, that come in so many different ways, that the pain is different daily. The stuff I am taking on occasion for nausea/vomitting caused by the pain pill increase, called Mecilizine HCI 25 mg(marketed for travel sickness) makes me very very sleepy, so it's also great to send me off to sleep.  However, then in the morning I have a terrible time waking up, I fall asleep where ever I sit down, here at the computer, outside to have a cigerette, on the couch, chair, reading, playing a game, going to the bathroom- doesn't matter I fall suddenly asleep, and only know it when 10 to 20 minutes later I am awoken by my body jerking upright. Kind of scary. So I quit using the Mecilizine unless I am already vomitting, as this was the same deal as when Neurontin went wrong, but nope- still fall asleep, only in the mornings though. Once I wake up around Noon, I'm okay and can stay awake. I am no longer taking anything different right before bed, (or that so called time I would like to be bedtime- usually ends up 2 am or later before I can go to sleep!) so I have no clue what is causing this. It simply could be that I am exhausted, my sleep patterns are all messed up, with waking up every 1 1/2 hours or so. I guess I make painful groans softly in my sleep, according to my husband, and move around alot even when stationary on the pillows because of the pain. My daughter had to try to wake me up one morning, and my husband was already to bed (he works graveyard). I made painful groans, and he started to gently hush me, while reaching over and rubbing on my tummy. My daughter found it pretty cute, as we were both sound alseep, and didn't wake up. She gave up and left us asleep.  I try not to make sounds,and often clinch my jaw shut in my sleep, causing the TMJ to get much worse because of the pressure I am putting on my jaw at night. I'm not even sure I sleep enough to have REM sleep anymore, and more often than not, wake up more exhausted than when I went to bed. Overall my pain level is at about a 8 today. I was able to do a few things, go to the store, which is rare nowdays, atleast driving myself there is.  I learned NEVER go to the store when I am craving chocolate- I bought 4 boxes of brownie mixes, a few chocolate cake mixes, chocolate frosting, hostess ding dongs, and chocolate donuts from the bakery! Thing is I eat maybe one from each of these things, the family finishes it off, so it's not quite as bad as it sounds. My hubby will be happy about it, he has missed the homemade goodies I used to have around all the time. Well my hand is in an uproar about all this typing today, don't know why but just felt the need to type all this out, and get it out of my system.I see that it's so late by DS time, that it's now Friday.  Maybe by talking about it here, it will help keep it from running around in my dysfunctional little brain....then again probably not!